I sneezed today and there was no chorus of ‘bless you mummy’.
It was lovely.
No I haven’t gone insane.
The girls had an awful day yesterday, spiteful, rude, cheeky, willful, abnoxious the works.
They all had an amazing nights sleep last night. So yesterday was clearly due to tiredness.
Today they were so busy playing they didn’t notice me sneezing, 4 times!!! They’re relaxed enough today to just play. I’m looking forward to a day of not being under the watchful eye of 3 hypervigilant girls that notice, comment on and react to my every move and sound.
All because no one cared that I sneezed!
I’ve read a lot of adoption related books. Every single one mentions at some point the importance of making time for yourself.
Traumatised children are emotionally draining, they are like sponges that never fill, they suck you dry of all your love, time, patience, attention and sanity. They push buttons you didn’t know existed and will stir up your emotions just for kicks, then, when they’ve got control of you, they’ll drop you just like that leaving you wondering ‘what just happened?!’
So apparently its important to have ‘Me’ time. Time to relax. Time to unwind. Time to clear my thoughts. Time to replenish my emotional strength and well-being.
Apparently a bath can do all this, or a walk in the park, knitting a jumper, a nice meal, a trip to the movies, the list goes on.
So in view of all this I’ve come to the conclusion that I must be ‘broken’. I’ve tried all of these suggested activities but I don’t feel emotionally replenished, my thoughts have never been cleared, I’m to wound up to unwind. The only time my mind stops is when I sleep and even then I have the most scariest dreams that often wake me.
So I ask, what is ME time and how do I get some?!