education

All posts tagged education

What price should we pay for an education?!

Published May 10, 2016 by thefamilyof5

Why must everything be one long continuous fight!?

In the last 6 years I don’t think there has ever been a time when I’ve not been fighting for support for something for my children! Social care, medical support, education, its never ending!

I’ve been through some pretty tough things in my life, but being an adoptive parent is by far the hardest. Its a really lonely journey, and not many people, professional or not, truly understand the difficulties faced by children suffering the long term effects of neglect and trauma, which makes getting any support nigh on impossible.

We were forced to home educate the girls last year, it wasn’t planned, and it certainly wasn’t choice. Id hoped that the Local Education Authority (LEA) would help us, Id hoped that they’d recognise that I’ve done, am doing, everything I possibly can to help my girls achieve the very best they can. It seems not. We requested some help to fund some tuition via big girls EHC Plan (education health care plan, replaced the statement of special educational needs), not a lot, just a few measly hours a week, I think I said 3hours. It seems that even though they were giving schools thousands of pounds to support her in school, plus the £1900 for her Pupil Premium, they cant even pay for a few hours of tuition. She’s only 3+ years behind though so what the hell eh! Who needs an education anyway!

I also applied recently for an EHC Plan for middle girl, school had planned to do it just before we removed her. The LEA wrote to me today, apparently they don’t feel she qualifies even for an assessment, something to do with mostly achieving a level 2a in year 4 and being seen by an autism service to be chatting to a peer at school on one occasion and seeming to understand the instructions in class?! Mostly nonsense, the Level 2a was probably the only accurate part.

I currently pay £20 a week for 1hours math tuition for my girls. All I wanted was 3hours! 3 measly hours of tuition!! £60 a week! I’m fairly sure all the EHCP panels and tribunals they’ll make me attend will cost a hell of a lot more than £60 a week! They all attracted £1900 each in pupil premium at school, that’s without an EHC Plan, apparently I cant even access that, so where is that money now, what happens to it? The government set it aside for my children’s education, yet they can’t access it unless we completely risk destroying their mental health, and our family unit, just so they can be in school!?

My LEA would prefer I put big girl on anxiety medication (the real cost of which would no doubt be life long and provided by a different department) and sent her to school, rather than provide a few hours a week in tuition! They would rather that middle girl withdrew back in to herself and spent every day scared and confused in school (with therapy paid for by someone else for her foreseeable future), than provide her with a few hours tuition! They would rather my baby girl gave in to the chaos within her, detached from the world and survived in school (with services funded by all manner of departments throughout her life to keep her on the straight and narrow), than support her in an environment that she feels safe. My LEA don’t care if my children are achieving, feeling safe, happy and content (they weren’t in school) or having a mental breakdown, being medicated, or even if our family breaks down, because the cost of all that comes down to a different department!

It shouldn’t be this hard. ALL of my girls deserve an education and the opportunities that will provide them with, but they all also deserve a mommy that isn’t completely exhausted from providing it.

 

 

 

 

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Trust

Published March 18, 2016 by thefamilyof5

TRUST

Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something:relations have to be built on trust

I have spent the last 6 years trying to earn the trust of my girls, we’ve engaged in services designed to encourage the relationship and promote trust. I have engaged with professionals from various departments always maintaining a very open relationship. Secrets aren’t helpful are they. Helping my girls has always been my one and only agenda.

I have spent the last 6 years trusting that the professionals and support services around us were focused on supporting us to the best of their ability. I have been open, honest and trusting. I have placed my faith in the system.

I made a SAR (subject access request – request for files) with the placing authorities adoption department last year. I also made one with our local authorities education department last month and the high school we withdrew big girl from last October.  They made for interesting reading to say the least.

Trust. Seems it is possible to be too trusting.

I’m finding it increasingly more difficult to place my trust in the very ‘systems’ designed to help and support us. It seems their agenda is different to mine. Theirs involves a lot of finger pointing, back covering, box ticking and secrets it seems.

How can I help my girls to invest their trust in me, in this world that we live in, how can they know who they can turn to for help, when even I am unsure of who I can trust and who I can turn to for help.

Our school to home ed Journey…………

Published January 8, 2016 by thefamilyof5

I have some new followers, I guess the new ‘Home Education’ tags have drawn interest from different circles so I guess I had better do a quick post to fill everyone in! are you sitting comfortably, you might want to go wee and grab a coffee before you start!

We tried school, it didn’t work for us, we now Home Educate

Of course there’s a lot more to it, so here goes……………….

The girls first came home at the beginning of summer meaning we had to get their names down for school before we’d even met them! We knew nothing of schools, or the education system never mind what the needs of our soon to be daughters would be so we had to rely on local advice when choosing the school/nursery. We opted for our largest primary, within walking distance, it came highly recommended by some of our older neighbors who had sent their, now grown up, children there. We visited, had the guided tour, I even took my mom along! It seemed lovely, they had lots of space, lots of staff and lots of experience with SEN apparently. We filled in the forms.

It was fine for about a year, well kind of, but then, so were the girls, kind of, it took about a year for us to realise that they were ‘too fine’. We soon realised this was compliance. Once they realised that we’d realised they were faking it, well the masks came off and the games began. We paid more attention to the subtle clues they gave us, we connected the dots and we noticed more. Baby girl, well she was a unraveling at school. She didn’t feel safe, there was too much going on, too many faces, too much time where she wasn’t supervised, and she knew it, she was stealing food/milk, cutting up her school clothes, being disruptive in class, being unkind to her peers, her name spent more and more time in the ‘red zone’ on the classroom wall. ‘She needs to know your watching her and keeping her safe, think toddler’ we said, ‘We are’ they said ‘So how did she manage to cut her dress up in class if you were watching her, she knows your not watching her, and your behavior system is making her feel ashamed’ we said.

Big girl was also struggling, she didn’t have any friends, she was constantly falling out with people in her class, her work was falling more and more behind, she was getting more and more frustrated, she began self harming at break and lunch times, she shouted at teachers and ran away from lunch time staff. She was scared and didn’t feel safe.

Middle girl was invisible. ‘she’s so helpful isn’t she’ they said. ‘she’s trying to please you because she doesn’t feel safe’ we said, ‘she’s got such a lovely smile’ they said. She became more and more invisible, hiding her fear behind her smile.

I cant blame it all on the school/staff, this was before the Pupil Premium, they had no real experience of traumatised children and neither did we. We didn’t know what they should be doing to support the girls needs and neither did they. But we knew the girls didn’t feel safe in school, we gave it 3 years before we realised we needed a smaller school with less faces, less space, less visitors, less everything.

So the hunt for a smaller school began. We narrowed it down to 2. One within our local area and one further afield. The closest one had a warm family feel about it, but the head openly admitted she knew nothing of attachment or trauma but would en-devour to do her best to support their needs. The school that was further away was marginally bigger, had that same warm friendly family feel about it and a head teacher that said she knew all about attachment and trauma as they had lots of adopted and looked after children in school. We signed the forms.

September came, by October it was very apparent that the head teacher, nor the staff knew anything about the needs of truamatised children, the open door policy the head teacher claimed to have was more like a door slammed in your face policy. Thankfully November bought her resignation. It took the best part of that academic year for a replacement head teacher to be appointed, it was a difficult year to say the least, a wasted year really, no relationships were made, no trust was gained so no learning took place. We then had quite possibly the worst summer ever, the anticipation of the return to a school that didn’t understand them was just too much for the girls. We entered a new academic year weary and tired. Thankfully that September bought a new head teacher and with it renewed hope. My hope wasn’t misplaced either, he was/is amazing. He listened, he accommodated and he did his very best to understand. He put measures in place, the most important of which was a Key Worker, she was/is also amazing. Between the two of them they did their very best to support us all as a family during what was Big girls last year in primary school. They used some of their pupil premium money on attachment training, removed the girls from their behavior modification systems, put in specialist support at crucial times throughout every day, added flexibility/consideration to the curriculum and vast amounts of extra learning support.

So the hunt for a high school began. We researched all the local and not local high schools, we knew a big school would be too much for her so we opted for a smaller one (same size as the first primary school but smallest we could get) outside our catchment area but everyone agreed it was the only suitable place for her, well everyone except the LEA, without knowing anything about her, they were adamant our local high school, 3 times the size, would be fine so they refused to support us with transport. We knew our daughter best and applied for the smaller one, it was there or Home Ed, we knew that much. We got the EHC plan the high school said she’d need and we did our best to make it through the year. Big girls tantrums worsened as her anxiety increased, baby girl got closer and closer to school refusal needing more and more support each day and middle girl finally found the courage to remove her mask at home and tell us and our therapist that even though she said she did, she really didn’t like school at all, she found it scary. There was a lot more to all of this, I’m simplifying it, many incidents, many indicators, many sick days due to stress, many tears and much hard work and relentless support from the school.

September came and before we even got big girl to high school, there were problems. Aside from discovering that the tutor she’d met during her transition meetings was going on maternity leave, We discovered days before school was due to start that the crucial key worker that they’d assigned to big girl, the one person that had the ability to help her feel safe in school by taking the time to build up a trusting relationship, was also key worker for many many other children most of which outwardly displayed their needs, unlike big girl who would need time and patience and trust before she would be able to even consider to ‘open up’. I feared she would become invisible, her needs over shadowed by the needs of those more secure needy children. I wasn’t wrong. By mid September Id already had a meeting with school, exchanged several heated emails and already requested an emergency review of her EHC plan. Her needs were going totally unrecognised, they were utterly unable to see past her compliance. Her anxiety was very apparent at home, once she got home and felt safe it would all come out, often in violent rages. Things were also made worse because despite her EHC Plan being in place with details of 17.5 hours worth of support including social skills support, reading support, emotional language support, classroom support, she received nothing more than a room to spend break/lunch times in, where she would build a den under the desk in order to feel safe, and a busy key worker to share with various other needy children. She’d scraped through a level 3 in SATS just a few months prior, yet was expected to do level 5 work, or at least try, without any support. By October things had become completely unmanageable for all of us. Big girls anxiety was through the roof and it was effecting the entire family. Middle girl had completely stopped ‘learning’ and was needing more and more support, she was withdrawing and showing signs of underlying anger, baby girl wasn’t sleeping, crying, clinging to me each morning and not wanting to go to school and becoming more and more ambivalent in our relationship. CAMHS had agreed to prescribe big girl with medication for her anxiety 😦

Half term came and the week was spent agonizing over what to do. Id asked both the LEA and high school for a review of big girls EHC plan several times, no action was ever taken. I was about to medicate my child ‘just’ so she could manage school. Middle girl was withdrawing from ‘relationships’ and becoming ‘shut down’. Baby girl was a mess, she was angry with me for making her go to school, but clingy and needy at the same time. All of this, just for school! We had to draw the line. We’d spent 5 years trying to get the girls to feel safe in school, things were getting worse not better. How much more of their childhoods could we spend unhappy and stressed out, just because of school!? They needed so much more joy in their lives, they deserved happiness!

So we made the decision to home educate. It wasn’t a snap decision, it had been on the cards for over a year, we’d discussed it with several professionals as well as family members, Id made no secret of it. It certainly wasn’t my choice, but I knew that we might at some point have to accept that they were just unable to manage a school environment. Id really hoped that the high school would get it right, if they had, well maybe things would have been different, if things had been going well for at least one of them, maybe it would have given us enough ‘hope’ to carry on. But it didn’t, it was falling apart from all angles, even with a super supportive primary school, baby girl and middle girl just weren’t improving and big girl, well she didn’t stand a chance at a high school that couldn’t even see her needs, never mind meet them. If we’d just de-registered Big girl, well, there was no way Id have got the other 2 in school, and if I’d forced them, the damage to our relationship would have been catastrophic. This was a make or break decision for our family.

So here we are. Big girls anxiety has reduced so much that we no longer feel she needs anxiety medication. Baby girl is happy, I can almost see her heart smiling, middle girl, well, her confidence has soared!
My only regret is that we didn’t do it sooner!

PS remember the LEA that insisted our local huge high school was the best place for big girl, and as such wouldn’t support us with transport to the smaller further away school, well since I asked again for her EHCP to be reviewed in November, with a view to name Home Education and apply for a personal budget for tuition, they’ve now decided that the smaller high school, that they refused transport for, is the best place for her and are still refusing to review her EHCP (Education Health Care Plan)! Couldn’t make it up could ya!

Big School, Huge Decisions!

Published October 3, 2014 by thefamilyof5

I mentioned a week or so ago that we were currently looking desperately searching, for a big school for Big Girl for next September.

Well the search is over!

I’d love to tell you that we’ve found the perfect school and that I’m totally confident with our decision and that its a school she’ll thrive in, but I cant, Its just the best of what was on offer. When I say ‘best’ I don’t mean it has great achievement records or that all the teachers teach to the highest of standards or that its a school with amazing facilities, In fact in all honestly I have no clue about any of these things because none of these things are important to Big Girl, feeling safe is all that matters, without that, the rest is unimportant. So when I say the ‘best’ school, I simply mean, its the best of the bunch to suit Big Girl’s needs. In fact it is the only school that I think she has even the remotest possibility of managing. So we’ve submitted our application, its a school way outside our catchment area but it is the only school we have put her name down for. All the other schools wouldn’t be manageable for her at all, so we felt there was no point in naming 2 other schools on the application, it really is this or Home School, I really hope she gets a place. She stands a good chance because being adopted, in the same way as being a looked after child, she will get priority over all of the other applications.

I’d like to tell you why we chose this school over all the others, and it really did just come down to size. All of the local high schools here have over 1000 students on the roll, and are situated in very large very complex buildings, this one has less than 450.

This school feels small, in fact when I first arrived I sat in the main reception area and I thought to myself how much it felt like a primary school rather than a high school, the floors were carpeted, the walls nicely decorated, it felt quite homely. So that was the first box ticked.

I was invited to the ‘Student Support’ department which is where I expect big girl will become quite familiar with, It was a small area with small tables and lots of friendly looking staff on hand. Next box ticked.

I was invited to walk around the corridors during one of the ‘class change’ times, I was surprised to see how calm and quiet it was, it wasn’t over crowded like all the other schools Id visited, the ceilings weren’t low, the corridors weren’t narrow, I didn’t feel claustrophobic. Another box ticked.

I was shown pretty much around the entire school which really only took a few minutes, the school is pretty much a square shape and mostly all on 1 level with only a library, staff room and couple of computer rooms on the upper floor, so really easy to navigate and not much chance of getting lost. Another tick in a box.

During my walk around the school I noticed lots and lots of lockers, so no having to struggle with coats and PE kits and bags and books, cause honestly, this would be too much for big girl to manage, she’d be super stressed hauling her stuff between classes and then be expected to sit down and learn. So big tick in the box.

They allow the vulnerable children to spend time in the ‘Student Support’ department during lunch breaks and have specialist staff available in the lunch hall to sit with vulnerable students whilst they eat, so no more feeling scared and lonely for big girl at lunch time. A huge tick in a box.

Just before I left the bell went for morning break time, I walked through the dinner hall and was greeted by lots of hungry kids looking for their morning snacks and toast. I didn’t feel intimidated, cramped or deafened, I felt relaxed, it was calm. Another tick!

I couldn’t tell you what Ofsted think about this school, and I couldn’t tell you what exam results they have produced over the last few years, I don’t know what subjects they specialise in and honestly, I don’t care. I just know that of all the schools I’ve visited, this is the only one she has even the faintest chance of coping with.

I’m not sure when we’ll tell Big Girl, most of the children in her class seem to already know they’re going to the local feeder school, she only knows that she is not.  She isn’t the same as most of the children in her class though, she is emotionally many years behind them so whilst they can manage this information so soon, I’m not sure she can. We wont get confirmation of her place until next March, but I’m not sure we should should wait till then?!  will telling her sooner be too much for her to handle!? I really don’t know when will be the right time to tell her, this is the next hurdle for us to figure out and hope we get right.

So is the this the right school?  did we make the right choice?  have we got it right? I don’t know. But what I do know, is that If big girl manages to see out her full education here, no, in fact if she lasts a year, I’ll be happy with that!

 

 

 

The futures bright…….. well, brighter!

Published May 31, 2014 by thefamilyof5

I was very privileged, along with a few other adoptive parents, to meet with Sir Martin Narey recently.

Sir Martin Narey has been advising the government on adoption issues since 2012, more recently he was chosen to chair a new board that will advise the government on how to improve the adoption process including post adoption support.

A small number of us were given the opportunity to share our stories and concerns. Education and Post Adoption support being the most talked about area’s.

Sir Martin Narey spent most of the meeting tentatively listening to the stories of unsupported families, he expressed sadness and disbelief to most of what he heard, he offered empathy and promised to take on board all of the information that was shared with him, and I believe he will.

Sir Martin Narey is a key figure in the future of adoption, if your involved in adoption and you don’t know who he is, then you should. He tweets and he emails but most of all he listens and acts.

If your a teacher, or head/virtual head, social worker or family support worker you also need to know who this man is, because he’ll be suggesting changes to your roles/training/processes too!

I was very grateful for the opportunity to meet the man that has had such a huge impact on the level of post adoption support we receive as a family, I feel hopeful that the future of all aspects of adoption will be better and brighter for everyone. Perhaps not today, or tomorrow, but I am confident that things will get better.

Pupil Premium Plus & School Training

Published January 27, 2014 by thefamilyof5

There’s been quite a few things going on in school lately, I might blog about some of the specifics another time but the biggest change right now is that our head teacher has announced they’re leaving soon. This left me feeling unsure of who to talk about certain matters that I wished to discuss. After a telephone chat with the head teacher we decided that the best plan is that I should put together a letter that could be presented to the board of govenors at their next finance meeting with regard to the Pupil Premium Plus and all other matters could be discussed directly with class teachers, I do have some other things that are not appropriate to discuss with class teachers but I also feel it would be somewhat pointless to discuss these with a head teacher that is leaving, so those matters I will mentally shelf until a replacement head teacher is appointed.

Any way, I know many of you adopters are currently struggling to discuss with schools plans for the the pupil premium plus for your children, so I thought I’d share my letter with you, perhaps it might help, I only wrote it tonight so you lot are the first to see it!

MY LETTER: (some personal details have been changed/removed to protect identity’s)

For the attention of : Board of Governors

Dear Sirs,

In Oct 2013 the government announced plans to introduce the new Pupil Premium Plus which will run along side the existing Pupil Premium. The purpose of pupil premium funding is to close the attainment gaps between vulnerable children and their peers. Up until recently the children entitled to the Pupil Premium were those entitled to free school meals and looked after children. However, the government is now realising that children adopted from care, looked after children and those who leave care under a special guardianship order or residence order are in need of additional support. The government has acknowledged that their need for support is in fact greater than those children entitled to the Pupil Premium and this is now reflected with the higher rate of Pupil Premium Plus.

As a parent of 3 vulnerable adopted children I would like to propose a suggestion on how part of the £5700 Pupil Premium Plus allocated to them is used to benefit my children and other children within school.

I enclose details of onsite training that is offered by a local company experienced in trauma and attachment. Although aimed at those working with looked-after and adopted children, it also covers a range of other children who may be considered ‘vulnerable’, ‘at risk’ or ‘in need’. For example this could be children who are currently experiencing neglect or abuse, children who’s parents have separated, children who have witnessed/are witnessing domestic violence, children with serious medical conditions who have spent a substantial amount of time in hospital, children who have experienced one off trauma’s (eg: car accident, house fire, etc..). Therefore it is hoped that each member of staff attending the course will be able to relate the training to at least one child they are working with, but it is often many more. Also at a time when the government is attempting to provide better support to looked-after, adopted and disadvantaged children, a clear understanding of these children is needed in order to provide the most suitable support.

I feel that £600 of the £5700 pupil premium plus would be wisely spent and be of great advantage to all staff and hugely beneficial to the children within school.

I enclose various articles and supporting literature for your perusal.
Kindest regards,

Mrs Familyof5

CC Head Teacher
Local authority Virtual Head

I enclosed with this letter some sales literature from a local company that offer onsite school training, if you don’t know of an organisation within your area then Adoption UK offer training days countrywide.

I also enclosed a print out of the governments press release from last year, this can be found here: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/100-million-to-support-the-education-of-children-in-care

And finally I enclosed an article about attachment, trauma and education that was published in SEN Magazine which can be found here: https://www.senmagazine.co.uk/articles/articles/senarticles/examining-the-severe-challenges-facing-those-with-attachment-issues-and-how-to-support-these-children-in-the-classroom

You will see that I posted a copy to the Virtual Head at our local authority. This is because their role will have been expanded and they are now expected to work with schools to manage the pupil premium plus and ensure that the money is spent on securing the best educational support and services for children. My hope is that they will also see the benefit of training and support my suggestion.

Teachers aren’t given training on attachment and trauma as part of their qualifying training, some teachers don’t even know what attachment is never mind the importance it plays in a child’s ability to learn and grow, therefore, if they don’t understand our children’s specific needs, how can they be expected to support them. I strongly believe that specialist attachment training should be mandatory for all teachers/schools.

Now we wait…………………

I’ve linked this blog up with #WASO (Weekly Adoption Shout out) over at The Adoption Social, pay them a visit, meet the bloggers and read lots of great adoption blogs

School, a game of luck!

Published September 19, 2013 by thefamilyof5

Im feeling really quite sad and fed up lately and its all to do with school. Not the girls new school, they seem to be settling in really well, it is still early days though so Im not going to get too gushy about what a great time they’re having. No, whats really bothering me is the amount of facebook and twitter comments, moans, rants and even blogs I’m reading from adopters who are struggling with school. It really frustrates me that so many children are struggling and suffering because most schools just don’t ‘get it’.

Now I know that there isn’t really much specific attachment training available for teaching staff and I appreciate that schools have budgets and when deciding whether to spend money on training geared towards one child, or training geared towards all the children, then the majority win. However, what schools also seem to forget is that ‘attachment’ based teaching would benefit ALL of the children, not just the traumatised child in the class thats causing problems. But even without specialist training, why aren’t teachers listening to adopters, why am I reading frustrated comments about adopters feeling defeated, head teachers not listening, class teachers being dismissive, traumatised kids being re-traumatised by being excluded, punished, shamed and ostracised.

Poor Robbie, he must feel terribly ashamed.

Poor Robbie, he must feel terribly ashamed.

Just a few examples:
A boy, refused to come in from the playground at playtime, and became aggressive when they tried to force him. He was excluded for a week. No consideration given that this little scared boy was worried that no one was going to collect him from school because the pick up arrangements that day had changed. Change is a big thing for adopted children, change = bad in their minds.

A child arrives in class to discover the seating had all been changed. Asked the teacher why, and was told ‘because I can’. Child has melt down and is sat outside head teachers office to sit in shame and read the school rules manual.

Child complains of feeling sick, school ring parents. Parent explains its just anxiety due to the test that day, school demand the child is collected, parent misses day at work to sit with child during test. This child had his own TA.

What a naughty boy!

What a naughty boy!


And the comments I’m reading over and over:
School has been the one huge headache in our adoption and parenting journey.

Bloody schools when will they learn that just because they present as ok in school there are no issues.

I have tried to tell them, but all they see is someone who copes at school.

Told my child was fine, treated like a paranoid Mother.

We had this with school too, and even though we secured funding for extra support in school for a term, school refused it and told us it was us.

Even if they can’t see it at school some compassion wouldn’t go amiss, but they clearly see us as the enemy.

They’ve called him a model pupil. Except he often comes home wet, having not told anyone that he’s wet himself for fear of being told off.

She may smile and say she’s fine, but she’s been up all night peeing on my bedroom floor and in my wardrobe because you gave her the wrong spelling test.

Talked to them about regulation and stress and certain flash points, but they kept saying we don’t see this at school, My hubby asked the HT what she had found useful about Louise Bomber book and it was quite clear she hadn’t read it.

I can’t get school to recognise that their actions impact on behaviour outside of school.

He is not coping with the changes and this is showing by him wetting at school and home Her bright idea is to show him how to use the toilet, He knows what he needs to do!

Teacher informed me we are JUST doing stuff like family tree!

Started wetting himself the week before school started and has had a couple of accidents since as well. Stress induced I’m sure.

School is major stress for them.

hitting, kicking boy begging me to take him home at school drop off ‘this place isn’t safe mummy, take me home please…’

I sometimes wonder if this is the effect school will always have upon my child

achieving above and beyond at school but socially he doesn’t have a clue, school say no issues at all but at home is a total different story.

so the teachers need to know they are working at least twice as hard as their classmatess.

one week in and we have homework woes already

teacher was unaware of issues of adopted children

Feels like we're talking to a brick wall, not a teacher.

Feels like we’re talking to a brick wall, not a teacher.

These are real comments, I’ve merely copied and pasted them and worse still they’re all from within the last 14 days. Its sad isn’t it. Does it anger you as much as it does me?

How is this happening, why is this happening. Something needs to be done. Adopters cant MAKE schools listen alone, They need to be supported. These poor children need better understanding in schools! I’m not the only adopter forced to move their children from a school that didn’t ‘get it’, and I wont be the last. In fact, in the world of adoption, its very common. But why, when continuity and stability is what our children need, not a lottery of suitable schools/teachers, it shouldn’t be about ‘getting lucky’ with the right school, or struggling to find the right school, ALL schools should be the right school.

If your a teacher and you want to understand, buy and read a copy of this, read some adoption related books Louise Bomber has written some good ones, ask BAAF or Adoption UK about training, Your local authority post adoption team can probably offer you some support and training too, but talk to your adopted pupil’s parents, and most of all listen to them. Their idea’s might seem outrageous or bizarre, but they know their child’s needs better than you.

Our kids deserve to be happy in school and out of school.

Our kids deserve to be happy in school and out of school.

When we switch to focusing on the process instead of the outcome, the level and intensity of suffering decreases dramatically – Heather Talbert Forbes

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