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The Silver Lining

Published November 17, 2013 by thefamilyof5

Well as you know, if your a regular reader, there’s been somewhat of a hiccup with my blog lately. My anonymity has been compromised and my privacy invaded. A ‘professional’ decided that my blog needed to bought to the attention of an organisation that the girls attend. This organisation decided that my blog needed to be bought to the attention of the child protection gate keepers. ‘What an outrage’ you might think!

My blog is currently read and supported by teachers, social workers, educational psychologists, authors, therapists, psychotherapists, adopters, prospective adopters, adoptees, birth parents, and general bloggers. So a few more isn’t going to hurt really is it.

After a brief chat with the lovely gate keepers about the lack of understanding on attachment and trauma within both the educational and health sectors, I decided that actually, this wasn’t such a bad situation after all and I was encouraged to continue to advocate, and help others to understand what I already know about my children.

I’m secretly pleased that my blog is being read by so many people that have the ability to change the way adoption is viewed and approached, although I wont deny being infuriated at the way my families privacy has been invaded with this breach of my anonymity.

I started my blog in the hope that I could reach out to other adopters and find support for myself, this quickly changed to me wanting to reach out and support others. My aim now is to reach out to the world and educate people on the effects of trauma and loss and attachment difficulties by sharing my own experiences in the hope that the world can be an easier place to live for adopted children and their families.

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So I’d like to say thank you to that ‘professional’, you’ve helped me reach even further and opened up some valuable lines of communication. Every cloud really does have a silver lining!

I’ve linked up this with this weeks #WASO over at The Adoption Social where you can read lots more great adoption blogs.

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Silence of the Lambs

Published November 13, 2013 by thefamilyof5

I love this blog title, makes me smile 🙂

Some of you may have noticed that my blog was offline for a while, some of you will know through Facebook and some through twitter, some will know because your my closest friends and I told you.

I started writing my blog in May 2011. I never anticipated that over 2 years later I’d still be writing it, nor that so many people would be reading it. I never could have imagined the doors it would open for us and the friends I would find.

I love writing my blog, I’m passionate about what I write and I’m proud of its achievements and acknowledgements.

I started writing because I was stressed, things were hard and I had very little in the way of support, not many of my friends and family understood the difficulties we faced every day as a family and it left me feeling isolated and alone.

There are 100’s of great adoption blogs out there reflecting all the positive aspects of adoption, but there didn’t seem to be many that reflected the struggles. Convinced I couldn’t be the only adopter out there that was struggling I set about creating my blog and sharing my story. I kind of gave myself a little motto when I started, ‘Keep it real’, and that’s what I’ve done. Sadly some of the harsh realities of adoption are not very nice and some even down right shocking. Our story isn’t one of the worst ones, but its also not the fairy tale happy ever after that some families are blessed with.

My blog has become part of me, its where I write about our struggles and rejoices, its where I despair and its where I boast. There have been a lot of agencies involved in our lives over the last 3 years, and so obviously I write about those a lot to. Some are sighs of relief, some are exasperated gasps of disbelief.
My blog is read by all manner of people from adopters, social workers, educational psychologists, authors, mental health workers, teachers and even those involved with UK government. I have never named any persons or any specific organisation in any of my writings, I’m respectful of peoples privacy and appreciate the damaging effects that public displays of annoyance of one persons bad experience can have on another/s. At the same time I also know how important it is for me to share my story to others in similar situations. Some of my followers know me personally, some are family, some are not, some wouldn’t know me if they walked past me in the street, some would stop to say ‘Hi’.

I had hoped that all of my readers were genuinely interested in our journey, I had also hoped that all of those people that know me personally would be respectful of my privacy and anonymity.
Unfortunately not everyone that reads my blog has a genuine interest and sadly a reader felt they had the right to reveal my identity and my blog to a particular organisation we’re involved with yesterday. This worries me because I’m now concerned that by revealing this information, they could have also put my children’s safety at potential risk. Someone identified that this blog relates to our family and shared this information, who else will they share it with.

Needless to say I have made a few changes to my blog, you will notice there is now a ‘Legal Disclaimer & Disclosure’ policy, and also a ‘copyright’ policy, these can be found on individual pages at the top of my blog. I urge you to read them.

I considered for some time deleting my blog. I also considered never mentioning certain organisations again. However, I have the freedom to express and share my own thoughts and opinions just like every one else and so long as I continue to respect the privacy of other organisations identity and keep my blog honest there is really no reason why I should be forced to delete it. My blog has always been honest and open and this is not about to change. My blog has opened up a whole new world to our family, its had the greatest of impact on our lives and has bought us some much needed recognition and support. To delete my blog, would be to delete a huge chunk of my support network and also an injustice to other adopters who have reached out to me to thank me for sharing my story and helping them to see that they are not alone. But most of all, I will not delete my blog because this is about my girls, 3 very traumatised children, and this blog is for them and about them and my fight to help them, not a disgruntled ‘professional’ with a personal issue.

I will not be silenced.

Whats in her Handbag?

Published June 1, 2012 by thefamilyof5

I’ve been inspired to blog something random and just for fun by the lovely Mummy over at With Wit Not Leisure.

Whats in my handbag?

1. Purse

2. Glass Nail File (for all those nail emergencies, if I ever decide to grow my nails.)

3. Folding Hair Brush (mostly to smarten up the girls if we decide to have an unexpected pub lunch)

4. Couple of Pens

5.  Cheque book (because I was too lazy to put it away last time I wrote a cheque for a school trip, my bag was closer)

6. Packet of tissues (snot is not a good luck no matter how many 3yr old insist on it)

7. Pocket pack of Gaviscon

8.  Bag size umbrella (I detest rain!!!)

9.  Tube of hand cream

10. Half a pack of throat sweets that went out of date in the 1900’s

11.  Hair clip (in case I don’t manage to get the umbrella out fast enough)

12. USB Memory Stick

13. Some loose change (fallen from my purse because it doesn’t close properly)

14.  An Unopened Mini pack of Stain Removal Wipes!?

I think you can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her Handbag!  Mine says I’m super boring and prepared for almost any eventuality!!

So whats in your handbag? If you write a blog then blog about it and tag the blog (in this case mine) that inspired you. If you don’t write a blog fear not, I have an Inclusion Policy! Comment below and share with the rest of the readers 🙂

Only one rule, BE HONEST! I dare you!

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