It was Sports Relief day in school today. There was a sponsored walk and lots of other lovely sporting activities planned for the day, the children all went to school in sporty clothes ready to have fun.
I was greeted tonight by baby girl who manically did star jumps across the playground before bouncing in to me. She looked as though she was having a major sugar rush, really hyper. I asked her if she’d had a nice day, she threw her arms around me, nuzzled her face into my jumper and stayed there, her heart beating rapidly.
Big girl came out of school looking gravely worried. I asked her if something had happened, she said no and edged closer, I asked if she’d fallen out with her friends, she said no and edge closer still, have you enjoyed your day, I asked, ‘it’s been ok’ she said as she put her arms around me for a cuddle, and there she stayed.
Middle girl came out of school her usual smiley self and reverted to her usual angry self once we got home.
Big girl has talked tonight of how she chose to help look after the younger children during the walk, the ‘perceived’ responsibility she felt for these 2 small children proved to be too much for her, she was emotionally drained and physically exhausted. You’d think that would make a perfect recipe for a good night’s sleep. Quite the opposite in fact, it’s the perfect recipe for a night of tossing and turning unable to sleep, cortisol rushing through her veins.
Baby girl found the excitement and change of her normal routine overwhelming. She spent the evening clingy and tearful before thrashing about in bed until she couldn’t any longer.
Middle girls spent the majority of last night awake, probably thinking about the day ahead. Tonight she was moody and angry right through to bedtime where she angrily thrashed around for almost 2hours before finally dropping off.
The uncertainty, excitement, and pressure of unstructured days in school has always been too much for my girls, it’s the reason why I’ve always taken them out for the last week of the school year, I’d hoped this year would be different.
The last week of the school year is generally filled with lots of lovely (scary) exciting activities rather than all that (safe) boring school work, all topped off with a huge helping of loss.
It makes me sad that the things that are supposed to be fun and exciting for my babies, are actually scary and overwhelming instead.
I’ve linked this post up with this weeks #WASO over at The Adoption Social.