I love family traditions, but we don’t really have many, in fact I can’t think of any. Being a fairly new family we haven’t had time to form any ‘traditions’ as such.
I bought the girls a lovely advent calendar this year. Each day there is a little book to read, as a collection they tell the story of the ‘Nutcracker’.
They’re really enjoying hearing a teeny instalment of the story each day. Could this be a new christmas tradition, I’d like to think so.
I’ve linked up with this weeks ‘Memory Box’ over at The Adoption Social.
I love it when they NEED me. It doesn’t happen often sadly but when it does, I enjoy every nano second.
Baby girl got a little overwhelmed in the park yesterday, after a bump we had giggles, strops and then she finally let down her barriers a few minutes later cried and fell in to my arms. I don’t think the tears were for the bump, although I’m not denying it would have hurt a bit at least, but I think the sudden rush of emotions took her by surprise. Pain, fear, embarrassment, panic, hopelessness, and probably more.
Her sister came to cheer her up by giving her a caterpillar to hold. Her smile returned, her confidence did not. She clung to me for most of the day after that, unsure, exhausted and wanting to be held. I enjoyed being needed.
I love cleaning, I find it therapeutic. In fact the state of my house is usually a good representation of the state of my head. The more stressed out I get, the more grime that builds up and then when it all gets too much I go on a mad cleaning frenzy, I’ve even been known to hoover at 2am! (pre kids obviously).
Seems I’m not the only one in our house that likes cleaning. I went in to the playroom earlier to find what I initially thought was chaos, but upon closer inspection I saw wet wipes, and tidying and organising!
I have 3 mini me’s!
Wet wipes on surfaces
Organising the bookcase
We’ve had the best holiday this week!
This weeks theme for the Weekly Adoption Shout Out (#WASO) at The Adoption Social is Pets.
This is Tilo, we named her that because we couldn’t settle on a name for her and she’d been called ‘The Little One’ for that long that we decided that should be her Name, albeit abbreviated and slightly altered!
Helping with hair brushing!
Tilo is 10, she has ADHD, Aspergers, Autism and some sort of attention seeking disorder!
Listening to a bedtime story!
Tilo will not give a second thought to demanding tummy rubs at 2am, and requires no less that two 3rds of our kingsize bed to sleep on.
She doesn’t deal with change very well, in fact she doesn’t deal with it at all, she will protest at the slightest difference to her daily routine.
Tilo is predominantly a house cat, by that I mean that she is too lazy to actually venture out of our back garden.
She requires feeding at the same times every day, even if her food bowl is full, she will still meow relentlessly until fresh food is put down for her to sniff at.
Tilo has issues with Food. She insists that yogurt,ice cream, cake, chips and curry must be shared, in fact she sulks if her requests are refused!
She constantly chatters about something or another, her conversations skills are quite lacking though if I’m honest and she can be rather repetitive.
Tilo has obsessions, her biggest being all things paper!
She claims anything that looks remotely like a cardboard box and will defend it profusely.
Tilo has an odd relationship with her friend the blue toy octopus, it appears to be a love hate relationship whereby she likes to snuggle with Octopus and then kick him in the head, her social skills need work.
She also has personal space issues and often follows people in to the bathroom!
Tilo is indiscriminate with her affections and will demand attention from any one that enters the house, friend, family, social workers, sales men.
She has a nickname, ‘monkey puss’, don’t ask!!
Tilo is adopted.
This is her serious look!
She is a great listener, she’s always by my side when I need her and she gives the best cuddles, albeit a little scratchy sometimes. We have the best conversations whereby I do most of the talking and its impossible to feel lonely with her around.
The girls love her, they can be a little over enthusiastic with her though sometimes though and when this happens we do have a ‘no touching’ rule for a while. We have a permanent ‘no picking up rule’ in place and I think that’s helped the girls and her to respect each others boundary’s, although Tilo does need constant reminding that the girls ‘quiet time’ is not ‘look at Tilo time’!!
Tilo is not our only cat, we also have Pepsi whom we adopted before Tilo, but as she’s not really a people person she declined my request for an interview and simply told me to ‘talk to the paw’.
We went to the zoo today. They’ve never really been much of a hit in the past. Today was no exception.
Each animal/display/event was glanced at for no more than 3 seconds before a chorus of ‘I want to see something else now’ was heard.
We’ve all smiled, giggled and enjoyed being with each other. No one moaned about the heat, no one nagged or whined, no one got told off (well except daddy but that’s nothing new), and no one cried, ok well perhaps I secretly shed a tear or two in the car on the way home over my aching legs and sore feet and I sure daddy filled up when he found out how much we’d spent, but over all, even though the zoo was naff and the girls really had very little interest in anything other than the ice creams we ate, we’ve all shared a lovely sunny family day!
Today was session 7.
I didn’t write about session 6 because I came away feeling pretty bewildered about what was supposed to have been achieved, I thought it would come to me after I’d had some time to process the session…….it didn’t.
Todays session has left me feeling fed up, frustrated, confused and tearful. I really have no understanding of what these sessions are about or supposed to achieve.
I collect 3 stressed out girls from school, the journey there is full of nonsense conversations, when we arrive there is usually a rush to see who can get to the door first to open it, we sit in the waiting room, each girl chooses a book to look at whilst we wait, then they constantly compete for my attention to look at their books, all I hear is a constant stream of ‘look mommy’ from 3 different directions. Then when its time, they eagerly rush ahead to ‘the room’ where we’re greeted by the family therapist and psychotherapist. ‘The box’ is always on the table, they instantly open it and busy themselves with its contents ‘colouring’ ‘glueing’ and ‘cutting’ mostly. The psychotherapist talks the most, wondering if a sun is being drawn because they’re happy, or if they’re gluing the paper together because they feel things are falling apart, or if they’re cutting of the paper is significant in some way or if their choice of plastic animal relates to some bizarre feeling or emotion that’s not being met. Mostly the girls are just busy and ignoring him. 59 minutes later I take home 3 stressed out girls and spend the rest of the day calming them.
For me however, the sessions seem to mean so much more. I’m listening to him, I’m taking in everything he says. Is she gluing the paper because she feels like she’s falling apart? Does that plastic cow really represent a need I haven’t met? Is that black house she drew her dark view of our life? Is the fact that she sat in a different chair a sign of her insecurities? Did she draw food because she’s feeling empty inside? Am I missing this much? Am I really this inadequate and incapable?
Most of the things the girls do are just ‘playing’ I’m sure. I’m also sure that sometimes his random wonderings put idea’s in to their head. Like the day he asked, ‘I wonder if your thinking that the spare chair should be for daddy and where he fits in to all of this?’ Well I’m fairly sure they hadn’t even noticed the spare chair until he pointed it out and hadn’t even considered the idea that daddy might come to the sessions at some point. Most of his wonderings leave me feeling ‘rubbish’, and as though I’m missing so much, but am I really?
I’m not! I’m not missing it, I know the girls are struggling, I know we have problems we need to work through, we wouldn’t be there otherwise would we.
I just wonder when they’re going to stop telling me how bad things are and start telling me how to make them better!