It took a few days to hit them, I guess it wasn’t really until big girl started to come down around a week after her recent episode, that baby girl and middle girl felt safe enough to relax, and let it out.
The tiredness didn’t help either, I guess it’s difficult for them to sleep whilst they’re so preoccupied with what mood she will wake in. I know I am.
Their needs became so great, they had ‘hurts’ that needed rubbing better, they needed to be close both physically and emotionally, they wanted ALL of my attention and they didn’t want to share. They fought for control in play, wanted to be first for everything. Behaviour deteriorated and choices became poor.
It had taken about 4 days after ‘roof gate’ for big girl to stop calling us stupid idiots, a further day for her to only think it without saying it outloud. A full 6 days later and she finally was able to feel remorse, which rapidly seemed to be turning to toxic shame through the day, so we intervened and talked about it. It hadn’t been safe to talk about it before.
Her foot was badly bruised (from kicking the door) but no permanent damage. Her self esteem however hadn’t escaped unscathed. She felt ‘bad’, told us she was ‘stupid’ and that the policeman should have taken her away. We told her we loved her.
Day 7 and it was like it never happened, for her anyway. The aftermath for the rest of us began here.