I’m ONLY the mom!

Published October 19, 2015 by thefamilyof5

So things are not really going to plan at High School. My big girl is finding it very difficult and school are finding it very difficult to see past her fake smile and provide the support she so desperately needs, which is mostly free I’ll add, just a little bit of empathy and lot of understanding and a little forethought is really all she needs, We’re not talking laptops and 1:1 staffing here. She’s coming home tearful and sad and feeling inadequate, I preferred it when she was angry I think, at least she still seemed to have some fight left in her. In just under 6 weeks of big girl being at high school, communication between home and school has become quite strained. I’ve been labelled as the neurotic parent that makes shit up. Its all in my head it seems!

So, there is a meeting that’s been arranged by the Senco at high school. Its a very important meeting. Its a meeting to discuss how to support my girl I’m told. Everyone will be there, all the professionals. A lot rests on the out-come of this meeting. Among the lucky attendees will be the autism support services, the head teacher from primary school, our post adoption social worker, even someone from the local authority SEND team is going. Its going to be a big meeting I expect, they’re going to need a really big table, lots of chairs to I expect, probably someone on hand to make tea and coffee and serve the odd biscuit. Everyone will sit around together, work together and discuss my girl, her needs and how they can work together to best support her. Id imagine someone will take minutes, which is a bloody good job really because according to the Senco, I’m not invited, apparently its a meeting for professionals and as I’m ‘ONLY’ a parent, he feels it wouldn’t be ‘appropriate’!

Happy National Adoption Week Everyone! #NAW2015

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4 comments on “I’m ONLY the mom!

  • As a social worker, I only ever attend professionals only meetings if there is an immediate child protection concern or, occasionally, if the meeting shares information about multiple children which is confidential from the other parents. As clearly none of the above apply in this case, there are no legitimate grounds on which you are being excluded from this meeting. There is a meeting taking place regarding your child and you have valuable information to share which others will not know (eg how she is at home). There have been recent cases brought in court regarding parents being excluded from meetings and this has found to be contrary to their human rights. If I was you I would demand to attend.

  • Can you just turn up? Could you try adopting an approach such as assuming/expecting to be there and just go into the meeting along with the other attendees? You might just get in (people in groups tend to be rather polite and most will not want to challenge you, they may assume someone else has invited you or will challenge you). It shouldn’t have to be this way but if you want to be there . . .it might just get you in.

  • I would also demand to attend the meeting. Also, Is your daughter invited to the meeting since it is about her? It is common practice to include the student whom is being discussed (in high school), where I am from, as they can also provide valuable insight into how they feel they can best be supported as well.

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