I’m starting to buckle a little. You’ll have noticed that I haven’t blogged much lately and that’s partly because we’ve been having a great summer and partly because my head is so stressed out with things that are going on in the background that I struggle to focus long enough to switch my laptop on never mind actually type something.
So here goes, I’m going to off load. If you haven’t followed my blog for a while then this probably wont make much sense to you, If your one of those super bored people that has nothing better to do than read my dreary ramblings, then it will probably, perhaps, maybe, make a bit of sense. Hopefully. Or not.
At the beginning of the year our DDP therapist suggested we look in to having Big girls mental health assessed, her constant high anxiety levels are a huge worry and she may need medical support with this. So I made some calls. 46,799 calls and several letters later, having been passed back and forth between CAMHS and our local ASD service provider for over 6 months, CAMHS finally called today and agreed to see her, the ‘nurse’ is adamant she MUST attend the 1st appointment and is unwilling to see myself and our therapist in the first instance. So not only will this be even more anxiety for Big girl, and quite possibly unnecessarily as there isn’t anything she can tell them that I cant (in fact she wont tell them anything ‘real’ anyway), but the appointment will mean missing time off school after only having being there for a few weeks
The school we chose for Big Girl last year is not a local catchment school. Adopted children are given priority admissions to make it easier for parents to choose the RIGHT school to meet their child’s needs. So we did just that. However, what I didn’t know is that this did not come with provision to support a child getting to the school they need to attend. So I applied to our local authority for help with transport as the school run for all 3 girls is a logistical impossibility. I was told I had to wait until the school place was made official, so around March/April time. They turned down my application. The 5th of August I was advised to appeal. So I have. I’m still awaiting the results of that hearing. There is 2 weeks left until the start of school and I still have no idea how I’m going to get them all where they need to be for the right times. When I applied for an EHC plan for Big girl last year I mentioned to the worker that was completing the assessment that I’d applied for transport to get Big girl to the high school we’d chosen. I wasn’t informed that it could be part of the EHC plan. Instead I was left to fight another battle. Its now too late to get transport incorporated in to her EHC plan apparently.
The placing authority provide us with an adoption allowance, its a sum of money that ensure’s I’m available for the girls appointments and therapy. Its not a lot but given that the girls high level of needs have meant that I’ve been unable to return to work as originally planned, its been a huge help. Over the last 2 years the placing authority have reduced this dramatically, even though our household income has not changed and the girls needs have increased. I received a letter 2 weeks ago, they’re reducing it again, massively. Another appeal.
I saw our GP in July. I requested some urgent help for Big girl for ‘girl stuff’. She received an urgent Pediatric gynecology referral. The referral was ignored. I chased it up. It was ignored some more. Finally we got an appointment for next week (late, but kinda perfect because it was before she goes back to school). I had a letter today. Its been cancelled and re-scheduled for the middle of October. Apparently 4 months is urgent!?
I discovered the other day that the Key worker, at the new High School, that’s been assigned to Big girl as part of her EHC plan has also been assigned to another child who also has a high level of need. So each morning this ‘key worker’ is supposed to be greeting my super stressed compliant daughter and another child who’s needs are displayed far more outwardly (I know this because I’ve met the other child). So my super compliant Big girl who should be starting her day calm and making a connection with a trusted adult, will instead no doubt end up soothing the worries of another stressed out child alongside ‘her’ key worker, whilst her own fears go un-soothed and her day begins with anxiety. No one at High school is currently available to clarify things or reassure me that this isn’t the case and that the Key worker assigned to big girl will in fact be able to offer her undivided attention as I was led to believe. They probably wont be available until the day before school starts.
The day before school starts we get to meet Big girl’s new tutor for the first time. Someone in their infinite wisdom thought it was a good idea to put Big girl in a tutor group with a tutor who was going maternity leave in July. So the extensive transition plan that we worked through for months and months, couldn’t involve meeting her tutor. I honestly am not making this stuff up!
Then there’s the worry about how Middle girl and Baby girl will settle back in to school with their new teachers with the knowledge that Big girl is somewhere else.
Its also time to review both Middle and Baby girls ‘working diagnosis of Autism’, and given how much I upset the local ASD service provider trying to get Big girl some help, I suspect they’ll be wanting get me off their books and out of their hair. It certainly felt that way when I called them today to make the appointments.
Then there’s the possibility that I’ll be applying for an EHC plan for Middle girl soon, really not wanting to leave it till year 6 like I did for Big girl, year 6 is stressful enough I think.
And my cat is poorly. Again. She’s a sickly thing but I do love her so.
This is just the stuff in my head.
Then there is ‘life’ with 3 traumatised children to manage.
Why does everything have to be so hard. I just want to be a mom.