What is ‘Normal’.

Published March 5, 2015 by thefamilyof5

I sat here the other day wondering ‘what is normal anyway?’

Before MrFO5 and I met I was married to a much older man, he had 2 children, I was their step-mom. They were around the ages that my children are now, slightly younger if anything. They were pretty typical kids, refused to eat peas, got angry, got sad, had headaches, told fibs, gave hugs, played games, relaxed. All pretty ‘normal’ really.

Which is why I know things here are quite ‘normal’.

I read on Facebook the other day about a fellow adopter that had been playing monopoly with her children, I love that game! I remember playing monopoly Saturday mornings with my step children, yes they cheated, yes they tried to sneak more money from the bank than they should, we laughed and played, in fact they chose to play, and anyone who’s played monopoly before will know its a game that can take hours to complete, I loved our Saturday morning Monopoly! I remember playing games with my family as a child, most weekends we’d get out a pile of games and work our way through them. Great family times.

Games aren’t fun here. Time spent playing a game is filled with competitiveness, control and sulking, no one enjoys it.

I saw a picture on Facebook of a friends child just sitting and chilling, gazing out of her bedroom window, still in bed, having a lie in on a Sunday morning.

There is no chilling here, I don’t even know what a lie in is anymore, there always has to be some sort of ‘doing’ or TV. There’s no snuggling on the sofa and chatting. Boredom takes over after no more than 5 seconds of not having something specific to ‘do’ or ‘watch’. In fact the only time they’re content to ‘do’ nothing, is when the TV is on or they’re eating.

I don’t know of any other families that have to create a rota for the TV. I remember just watching whatever was on the tv in my mom’s lounge, even the news. Me and my brother may have had the odd disagreement about what to watch but we didn’t battle for control of the remote, or intentionally try and ensure the other didn’t get to see what they wanted to, or go out of our way to clack our tongues through their favorite show, well not until we were teenagers anyway!

My mum didn’t have to frantically scan every programme for possible themes of loss, or violence, I watched the A-Team for goodness sake and News Round with John Craven, yeah I know it was aimed at kids but it had ‘real’ news stories and it wasn’t all good. Scooby Doo causes nightmares here, I recently discovered ‘Home & Away’ does too and don’t even get me started on Disney films.

I don’t know any other moms that have to find the answer to the same question being asked continuously all day  (excluding mom’s of 2yr olds that ask ‘why’??) every day ‘what shall I do now?’ I scream the answer in my head, words of utter frustration, words that I dare’t say aloud, instead, out of my mouth comes the same response every time ‘what do you want to do’, shortly followed by ‘well do that then’. Sometimes, when I’m really fed up I just shrug my shoulders hoping that they will come up with the answers for themselves,they dont though, they just wait.

I know kids that write Christmas and Birthday lists so long that their parents either have to remortgage or disappoint their kids by only buying a select few. I’d love to be given a list, I’d love to hear ‘I want XYZ for my birthday’.

I dont want to still have to put the toothpaste on toothbrushes, I don’t want to have to watch the every move of an 8yr old to ensure she doesn’t smear tooth paste or shampoo. I don’t want to have to keep a track of where all the scissors in the house are.

I just want ‘Normal’!

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3 comments on “What is ‘Normal’.

  • I know how you feel. I to have to do this and other things I thought I would not have to do since my kids are grown up.That was until I suddenly had to bring up my nephews 8 years ago when my youngest was 21. Life has been a never ending challenge ever since. xx

  • I hear you. Pip is capable of just getting on with it but Katie isn’t really although she’ll sit and watch Liv and Maddie on repeat now but if she’s downstairs in her own I can’t have a lie in because I know she’ll soon vein doing things she’s not supposed to.

  • Yes. This. Absolutely.

    I’m considering printing slips to hand out every time someone says “but ALL siblings do that”. The slips will say “Yes, but for very different reasons”. When my 6y/o appears saying his sister just tried to kill him, he’s not just being a drama queen. When my 7y/o makes her brother cry it’s so she can feel needed by mothering him like she had to when they were tiny. When my 8y/o watches a film and is constantly asking what’s going to happen next, it’s not because he’s curious – it’s because he can’t handle any kind of surprises.

    Exhausting, isn’t it! Hang on in there. It’s normal for a bunch of us, at least xxx

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