Merry Christmas to all of you, from all of us. However your spending this Christmas holiday we wish you peace and happiness for the year to come…….
Major cheat alert!!!!
I’m soooo behind, it’s been really tricky here so I’m going to massively cheat!
Day 25 something you made
Day 26 colour
Day 27 lunch
Day 28 light
Day 29 inside your fridge
Here we have a picture of inside my fridge, which also includes a ‘light’, lots of ‘colour’ a big white bowl of left over mashed potato that I ‘made’ and all the things we use to make the girls packed ‘lunch’!!
I do believe I’m now up to date!
Today is 24 of 31 of the #FO5photo challenge, today’s (actually yesterday’s but I’m playing catch up) theme is ‘Guilty Pleasure’.
I try really hard to indulge in this once a week, all in aid of ‘self care’ of course, it doesn’t always work out that way, morning meetings and appointments and ‘stuff to do’ often get in the way, but if I’m lucky, then I get to treat myself to this guilty pleasure………..
There is a fine line between building resilience and pushing too far I beleive.
My girls are really struggling right now, we’ve had more tantrums in the last fortnight than we have this year, their sleep is at an all time low, I don’t know how to make it all better anymore.
Baby girl and middle girl have both now withdrawn from their on stage rolls in their school christmas plays, opting to sit at the side instead, however, it seems even that is too much for them ‘people are still looking at me’ they’ve sobbed ‘I want to sit where no one can see me’ they say. Big girl has chosen to participate in her play but this hasn’t stopped her reeling off a never ending list of ‘issues’. ‘I’m squashed when we do this bit’, ‘XZY stands too close to me were doing that bit’, ‘I keep getting the actions wrong’ and yes I know that most kids probably go home with a list not dissimilar, and many children get stage fright and worry that people are looking at them or they’ll forget the words or get the actions wrong. What is different though is the profound effect all the ‘stress’ has on their ability to manage their emotions and in-turn behaviour.
I sat all the girls down today and asked ‘what do you need to make it more manageable for you?’ They didn’t know, I knew they wouldn’t but I was getting desperate after a full weekend of tantrums. Big girl is adamant she wants to take part but was able to acknowledge how hard she was finding it. Baby girl would rather not take part at all and stay home and middle girl really wasn’t able to decide or identify exacty what she was finding so hard.
So when does resilience building become too much? When do I decide that this is just to much for them and the benefits have been outweighed by the anxiety and it’s negative effect on their emotional well being and health? Do I continue to push them all to take part and see that it’s ok? Or accept that it’s just not managable for them?!
There is a fine line, but at the moment I just can’t see where that line is………..
Day 22 theme is ‘my shoes’.
I left my boots piled up on the lounge floor for all of friday evening hoping the cat would snuggle then like she usually does, thus providing me with a cute photo opportunity. But she didn’t, so instead here are mine and MrFO5’s shoes, chilling whilst the girls watched a cheesy magician at their autism play and stay club.
Day 23 theme is ‘Something old’.
I also considered a photo of MrFO5 for this one but decided to show you something not quite as old as him instead. This used to be the lamp besides my bed when I was a child, these days it gathers dust on a shelf in my bedroom, lampless but still loved!
Today is day 21, the theme for today is ‘Reflection’.
Been an awful day. My morning started with a tantrum from big girl before school.
Then a very draining meeting with EHC co-ordinater that involved me spending 2 hours telling her about all the awful things that big girl endured during her time living with her birth family, and then again in foster care, and then describing the effects that all this has had on her and in-turn the effects it has on all of the family. Thinking about, and talking about so much trauma and heartache is more draining that I thought.
Then tonight, after school, another 2 and half hour tantrum from her.
So this is my feeble contribution, the reflection of light on my chocolate (self care) wrapper………………
Inside my head I have a book, it contains all my worries, it seems to be rapidly growing!
I have an appointment tomorrow with the lady co-ordinating the EHC plan for big girl, I must remember to tell her everything!
I have an appointment with the pediatrician next week about all 3 of the girls anxiety levels and the knock on effect its having on their sleep, which seems to be getting worse with age! I need to write an email to the pediatrician so she/he can have all the sensitive information without me having to say it all in front of the girls.
We had a letter today notifying us that middle girls teacher is leaving and a new teacher will be taking her place in January, I knew this was going to be happening, I just didn’t know exactly when. So I need to ensure that school, sometime over the next 7 school days before they break up, do some work with middle girl to prepare her for this transition. Perhaps a photo of the new teacher and an informal meeting with her before school recommences in January!? Middle girl is already worried, ‘what if she shouts’ she asked me tonight. I’d also like them to pass to the new teacher the information (letter to my teacher) that was given to each of the teachers at the start of the school year so that she can also ‘know’ about Middle girl before school commences.
This new teacher (if staff/classes remain the same) might also be Baby girls teacher next September which means they will also need to be thinking about supporting her next year with that transition. I’d also like some thought in how the year 5 teacher (again assuming there are no changes) will support Middle girl next year as I’m not sure the approach she had with Big girl last year, will work with Middle girl next year.
Big girl goes to High School next year (hence the application for an EHC plan), there’s been a lots of talk about supporting her with the transition but I think I need to know more, like how and when etc
With big girl changing schools, Middle girl and Baby girl are also going to need a lot of support with this. It will be a big step for them to be in a separate school. The bad dreams about ‘sisters getting lost’ have already started for Middle girl and I’m convinced this is linked to her knowing that Big girl is going to be changing schools.
Then there is all the other day to day stuff, like Christmas Plays, Sats, Therapy, IEP reviews, Letterbox contact with birth family, what to cook for tea!
Oh, and its Christmas soon……………..