Well we’ve been back at school for a couple of weeks now, We’ve had quite a few wobbles, Middle girls anger has returned, Baby girls worries have returned and Big girls anxiety is in over drive.
Middle girl is angry most days when she gets home from school, she was hot, it was noisy, she was thirsty, her friend had to move seats, it didn’t rain like the weather man said it would, the lunchtime toy hire shop closed, dinner time has changed etc etc she’s grumpy, everything is annoying her and her unreasonable expectations for the entire world to accommodate her every need have returned, quite simply, she’s stressed out.
Baby girl is worried, worried she cant speak french, worried the children might not like her, worried she’ll forget something, worried her teacher will shout, worried about everything. Remember the transition object I gave her a year ago when they started at this new school, well its been in her hand/pocket every day so far this new term, so she still isn’t feeling safe in school yet. Baby girl doesn’t like school, she’s always said she’d much rather stay home with me but being the compliant little girl that she is, she’s always worn her smile and walked in to school anyway. I’ve noticed over the last year that baby girls reluctance to go in to school is increasing, don’t get me wrong, she still walks in with a smile but the lingering hugs and the asking me to walk her right to the door and even the ‘I don’t wanna go’, has started. I’m concerned this is going to get worse, if it continues progressing at the rate it has been, I’m sure we’ll be having full on school refusal in no time.
Big girl, ahh where do I start. She’s really not managing things at school at the moment, we’re having regular melt downs at home, what was every month or so,is now several times a week, lots of self harming, shouting, feeling rubbish about herself and generally being unhappy. I’ve had lots of talks with Big girl, some she’s listened to and shared with me he worries and some she’s shouted at me and been unreachable. Everything seems to be a major issue for her at the moment, the slightest thing is unmanageable and every bit of change pushes her closer to the edge, she seems to be on a downward spiral. Her out bursts are even effecting her sisters, only last week baby girl told our therapist how she wished she had a magic wand to make everything ok so that big girl would stop shouting, my heart broke. I’m worried about her level of anxiety, I’m worried she’s going to make herself ill either mentally or physically and I’m worried that she’s re-traumatising her sisters by creating so much volatile chaos.
But fear not, I’m on it, we have a new head teacher at school and he fills me with much hope, we’ve been talking on a regular basis and he’s already put in place some things to support her, I have a meeting planned with him and our Post Adoption Social Worker who has also talked to me about looking in to ways that they may be able to help us. Big girls teacher is really on board and doing her best to support big girl and last week we also started therapy, so hopefully this will eventually give Big girl a safe place to talk. I’m signed up to a ‘self harming’ work shop at the local CAMHS, I’ve enrolled on a seminar about the new SEN reforms so I can learn more about the governments new EHC plans and hopefully begin the application to source one for her, so I’m really am doing my best to support big girl through her tears and simultaneously protect her sisters from her trauma.
Please send us lots of positive vibes!