I’ve watched baby girl today, playing, being a pain, pushing boundaries and smiling, shouting, giggling, nagging my ears off, driving me to distraction and just being a typical 7 year old albeit a bit more immature than most.
She’s wearing a dress today, a gorgeous denim dress from a designer store. It was once big girls dress and has been handed down to baby girl. I see baby girl jumping around, looking young and child like and it saddens me.
Big girl wore this very same dress when she was a little younger than baby girl is now, but I don’t remember her being this ‘young’. She came to us with such an ‘old’ head on her shoulders, she’s never pranced about, skipped through the lounge after repeatedly being told not too, she’s never lolled across my lap and asked ‘what’s for dinner’, she’s never allowed herself to ‘need’ me. I don’t remember her being ‘young’ and baby like, or as irritating to be honest.
I’ve felt blessed today that I’ve shared those moments with my baby girl, (even though some of them have left me pulling my hair out and wanting to saw my head off), I have also been blessed with being able to share some of those times with middle girl, but I feel so sad at the loss of not having shared any those moments with my big girl who didn’t get the chance to be ‘little’ because she was forced to grow up too quickly.