Silence of the Lambs

Published November 13, 2013 by thefamilyof5

I love this blog title, makes me smile 🙂

Some of you may have noticed that my blog was offline for a while, some of you will know through Facebook and some through twitter, some will know because your my closest friends and I told you.

I started writing my blog in May 2011. I never anticipated that over 2 years later I’d still be writing it, nor that so many people would be reading it. I never could have imagined the doors it would open for us and the friends I would find.

I love writing my blog, I’m passionate about what I write and I’m proud of its achievements and acknowledgements.

I started writing because I was stressed, things were hard and I had very little in the way of support, not many of my friends and family understood the difficulties we faced every day as a family and it left me feeling isolated and alone.

There are 100’s of great adoption blogs out there reflecting all the positive aspects of adoption, but there didn’t seem to be many that reflected the struggles. Convinced I couldn’t be the only adopter out there that was struggling I set about creating my blog and sharing my story. I kind of gave myself a little motto when I started, ‘Keep it real’, and that’s what I’ve done. Sadly some of the harsh realities of adoption are not very nice and some even down right shocking. Our story isn’t one of the worst ones, but its also not the fairy tale happy ever after that some families are blessed with.

My blog has become part of me, its where I write about our struggles and rejoices, its where I despair and its where I boast. There have been a lot of agencies involved in our lives over the last 3 years, and so obviously I write about those a lot to. Some are sighs of relief, some are exasperated gasps of disbelief.
My blog is read by all manner of people from adopters, social workers, educational psychologists, authors, mental health workers, teachers and even those involved with UK government. I have never named any persons or any specific organisation in any of my writings, I’m respectful of peoples privacy and appreciate the damaging effects that public displays of annoyance of one persons bad experience can have on another/s. At the same time I also know how important it is for me to share my story to others in similar situations. Some of my followers know me personally, some are family, some are not, some wouldn’t know me if they walked past me in the street, some would stop to say ‘Hi’.

I had hoped that all of my readers were genuinely interested in our journey, I had also hoped that all of those people that know me personally would be respectful of my privacy and anonymity.
Unfortunately not everyone that reads my blog has a genuine interest and sadly a reader felt they had the right to reveal my identity and my blog to a particular organisation we’re involved with yesterday. This worries me because I’m now concerned that by revealing this information, they could have also put my children’s safety at potential risk. Someone identified that this blog relates to our family and shared this information, who else will they share it with.

Needless to say I have made a few changes to my blog, you will notice there is now a ‘Legal Disclaimer & Disclosure’ policy, and also a ‘copyright’ policy, these can be found on individual pages at the top of my blog. I urge you to read them.

I considered for some time deleting my blog. I also considered never mentioning certain organisations again. However, I have the freedom to express and share my own thoughts and opinions just like every one else and so long as I continue to respect the privacy of other organisations identity and keep my blog honest there is really no reason why I should be forced to delete it. My blog has always been honest and open and this is not about to change. My blog has opened up a whole new world to our family, its had the greatest of impact on our lives and has bought us some much needed recognition and support. To delete my blog, would be to delete a huge chunk of my support network and also an injustice to other adopters who have reached out to me to thank me for sharing my story and helping them to see that they are not alone. But most of all, I will not delete my blog because this is about my girls, 3 very traumatised children, and this blog is for them and about them and my fight to help them, not a disgruntled ‘professional’ with a personal issue.

I will not be silenced.

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20 comments on “Silence of the Lambs

  • Brilliant, for no reason that I have ever seen on your blog does anyone have the right to tell you to stop writing. Your blog is a huge support for me, as I also struggles with raising my two adopted children. I’m so glad you will not be closing this wonderful blog. xxx

  • I’m so glad you’re not closing your blog down. I have never read anything that should give anyone cause to tell or ask you to stop writing. Your blog is a support to me and many other readers, but most importantly it is for you…keep going! Xx

  • I’m glad you aren’t closing the blog. It’s truly a fantastic blog, a support, and it would be a real shame if it had to go due to the actions of others. Sorry that someone felt they had the right to do what they did 😦

    I have to admit I’m a bit paranoid about my identity, even though I am certain that anyone who knows me ‘in the real world!’ as it were, would recognise me as a blogger. However I haven’t and don’t plan to reveal anything identifying about me publically online, whether on my blog, twitter or forums. I’ll give out some details privately by email/PM but that’s the limit. It’s also about protecting my kids, my eldest especially would hate to be ‘recognised’ in person by someone who had read about her online

  • I am saddened that someone ‘outed’ you. Blogs are an important source of support for those of us parenting traumatised children, particularly where there is a lack of decent, professional support. It is also vital that the truth is told: that adoption is not all rose petals and happy endings. Our children need access to much better therapeutic services and keeping quiet about that helps no one.
    Well done for keeping your blog. I for one would have been disappointed if you had opted to be gagged.

    • Dont even get me started on the state of the theraputic services available for our kids! i’ve fought hard to get my girls needs recognised, now i just need to find the ‘right’ service to help them x

  • Wow, that is just terrible that someone you previously trusted would take it upon themselves to reveal your identity to another party, particularly an organisation to which you are linked. I only found your blog a few months ago but, like others I have found it an interesting and valuable read. I suspect it has value to others way beyond anything you have imagined.

    It is so good that you have not let this event set you back or prevented you from continuing to blog. Thank you for having the courage to perservere.

    • It caused all sorts of issues, some which i cant really go in to at the moment but i may at a later date. Thanks for your kind words, its lovely to hear that you’ve found parts of my blog to be valuable, that really makes it all worth while!
      Thank you for your support 🙂

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