Yes its official, this week is National Adoption Week. All of the agencies and professionals and adopters and bloggers are putting efforts in to tell you how great adoption is and how you definitely should do it!
Im struggling with this. I’d love to tell you that adoption is wonderful, a bed of roses and that everyone should do it, but I just can’t. Its hard, its still very hard, and it really Isn’t for everyone, in fact some days I wonder if it was really for me.
Our adoption journey has been, and is still, a very rocky journey indeed.
I love my girls, and I’d do anything for them, but I just can’t put my hand on my heart and say ‘there’s nothing I would change’ which is what I’m reading and hearing from so many other adopters this week.
There are many things I’d change. If I were to go back in time and do this again, would I adopt 3, and at the same time? would I accept assurances that ‘they’ll just need a few weeks to settle and you’ll be fine’? would I ask camhs for help? would I trust the social workers so willingly? would I believe the things the foster carer told me so easily? would I enroll them in school so early in to placement? would I have allowed us to be hurried through introductions? would I have adopted from outside our home county? would I have applied for the Adoption order so soon? would I presume that Post Adoption support would be available? Quite honestly, no, I’d never do any of those things again.
I wouldn’t change the family I have now, we are what we are and as hard as that is some days, and as much as we’re not the family I’d hoped for, we are a family.
But If I’d known then, what I know now…………….well, things would be very different for us right now.