Letterbox Contact

Published November 3, 2013 by thefamilyof5

Its that time of year, the time when we need to write letters to the girls birth family.

Usually I’ve written them by now, I tend to do them half term week as its generally a less stressful week for the girls than a school week and often can bring up some difficult feelings and thoughts for the girls.

This half term has been so CRAZY that I haven’t had time to stop and think, never mind write a letter.

But now that half terms over I thought I’d better at least put some thought in to it.

What to write? I’m running out of positive stories to tell and fabulous achievements to share.

Apparently I’m supposed to be sensitive to birth mum’s feelings when considering what to write, so I cant tell her how many times baby girl told me she loves me today, but I also cant tell her of big girls emotional struggles and middle girls inability to trust us still.

So what can I write about!?

My rose tinted glasses are broke.


I’ve linked this blog with #WASO over at The Adoption Social.


9 comments on “Letterbox Contact

  • Teachers, school, any playmates, new clothes, outings, physical growth/size, developing preferences (colours, food, toys, games…) Just some ideas. Imagine you’re writing to a distant aunt, perhaps?

  • It sounds like a tricky situation indeed. We are just beginning some contact with J birth family (grandparents) and im finding it overwhelming. I cant even imagine writting to his birth mom yet. Goodluck, I know you’ll find the right balance of information:)

  • I tend to think about those round robin letters you get a Christmas… Stuff you all/the child did during the year. A mixture of trivia and minutiae.

    Holiday in the countryside in the spring… Little one loved looking at the lambs in the field next to the cottage… Started nursery and loving it… Growing big and strong… Likes playing on scooter and climbing in the local park. Asks lots and lots of questions and always getting into things… Was shepherd in the nursery navitiy play and looked so cute. Loves watching Tilly and Friends and reading Angelina Ballerina books…. And soon and so forth… Or whatever…

    For us it tends to be a facade of intimacy but actually just a compilation of thoughts about that the little one has been doing and what they like that gives a flavour of who they are and what they have been doing. But without actually revealing any critical personal details and without getting into difficult emotional areas. With that approach it is amazing just how quickly you can compile a couple of sides with sufficient content to give due respect to what you have agreed to do and still provide the birth parent with a pen portrait of your child. Hope that helps.

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