Future

Published October 26, 2013 by thefamilyof5

This weeks Theme for #WASO is ‘Future’.

I spend a lot of time worrying about the girls future and also our future as a family. I’m sure all parents worry about their children’s future, will they get a good job, will they marry, will they have a family of their own etc.

I worry about all of the above, but I also worry about some of the finer details of life as well.

Will big  girls infatuation with being a mom lead her to become one too soon, will she continue the cycle of self destruction that she was born in to, will she ever trust any one enough to be able to have a loving relationship with them, will she have friends, will she allow herself to feel loved and have learnt how to love. Will she return to her past and the path she was on. Will she be happy!

Will middle girl ever open her heart and let us in, will she ever trust the world around her or will she continue to hide and avoid the world, perhaps behind a bottle or a drug induce state. Will her academic difficulties hold her back, will she ever feel ‘good enough’. Will she be happy!

I worry that baby girl may never feel she truly belongs, will she always feel she has to compete to fit in, will her need for attention and reactions get her in to trouble, will her thrill seeking land her in hot water, will she be too controlling for friends, will she learn to be happy without chaos. Will she be happy!

I worry about the present too, I worry that I’m not doing the right things, that I’m not saying the right things, that I’m not giving them what they need.

I worry that i’ll never be able to ‘give’ enough, that i’ll never be able to fill those gaps from their past.

I worry that i’ll never be enough!

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14 comments on “Future

  • You and me too ! It’s difficult for us not to worry about the future I think. I guess that our best just has to be enough because it’s all there is. (Sorry, that sounds depressing, didn’t mean it to.)

  • Such a lot to worry about! It must feel like such a big job to therapeutically parent your three girls but you obviously care a lot and have great strength. I think it’s ok to feel like you won’t be enough – it’s a daunting task that not many people have to face. Wishing you lots of strength, and a happy future.

  • If your children are like my two I’m not sure they understand the concept of enough. It’s impossible to be enough for them because they always want more. Sounds like you are doing a good job to me though!

  • I can relate to the feeling of not knowing if what you are doing will ever be good enough. I’m trying (trying is the key word) to do my best and then hope for the best in the future. Easier said than done when it’s your personality to over think things and worry over them. I’m sure you are doing a great job though!

  • I’m a worrier too – and I definitely worry that I’m not good enough. But in the end, I’m all they’ve got, so I’ll be the best I can – and I know you do that too! I know a lot of your readers though will identify with your words.

    Thanks for linking up to #WASO x

  • I think we can all identify with the worries and concerns you’ve expressed here. I guess it’s part of being a parent generally, but more so for us adoptive parents as we’re trying to build a future on the foundation of a past that is so shaky. I would love to be able to offer reassurance, but all I have right now is understanding 🙂 In the end I suppose that after we’ve done all we can, we have to stand by them as they do what they will do!

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