This weeks Theme for #WASO is ‘Future’.
I spend a lot of time worrying about the girls future and also our future as a family. I’m sure all parents worry about their children’s future, will they get a good job, will they marry, will they have a family of their own etc.
I worry about all of the above, but I also worry about some of the finer details of life as well.
Will big girls infatuation with being a mom lead her to become one too soon, will she continue the cycle of self destruction that she was born in to, will she ever trust any one enough to be able to have a loving relationship with them, will she have friends, will she allow herself to feel loved and have learnt how to love. Will she return to her past and the path she was on. Will she be happy!
Will middle girl ever open her heart and let us in, will she ever trust the world around her or will she continue to hide and avoid the world, perhaps behind a bottle or a drug induce state. Will her academic difficulties hold her back, will she ever feel ‘good enough’. Will she be happy!
I worry that baby girl may never feel she truly belongs, will she always feel she has to compete to fit in, will her need for attention and reactions get her in to trouble, will her thrill seeking land her in hot water, will she be too controlling for friends, will she learn to be happy without chaos. Will she be happy!
I worry about the present too, I worry that I’m not doing the right things, that I’m not saying the right things, that I’m not giving them what they need.
I worry that i’ll never be able to ‘give’ enough, that i’ll never be able to fill those gaps from their past.
I worry that i’ll never be enough!