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All posts for the month July, 2013

Meet Tilo…….

Published July 5, 2013 by thefamilyof5

This weeks theme for the Weekly Adoption Shout Out (#WASO) at The Adoption Social is Pets.

This is Tilo, we named her that because we couldn’t settle on a name for her and she’d been called ‘The Little One’ for that long that we decided that should be her Name, albeit abbreviated and slightly altered!

Helping with hair brushing!

Helping with hair brushing!

Tilo is 10, she has ADHD, Aspergers, Autism and some sort of attention seeking disorder!

Listening to a bedtime story!

Listening to a bedtime story!

Tilo will not give a second thought to demanding tummy rubs at 2am, and requires no less that two 3rds of our kingsize bed to sleep on.
She doesn’t deal with change very well, in fact she doesn’t deal with it at all, she will protest at the slightest difference to her daily routine.
Tilo is predominantly a house cat, by that I mean that she is too lazy to actually venture out of our back garden.
She requires feeding at the same times every day, even if her food bowl is full, she will still meow relentlessly until fresh food is put down for her to sniff at.
Tilo has issues with Food. She insists that yogurt,ice cream, cake, chips and curry must be shared, in fact she sulks if her requests are refused!
She constantly chatters about something or another, her conversations skills are quite lacking though if I’m honest and she can be rather repetitive.
Tilo has obsessions, her biggest being all things paper!
She claims anything that looks remotely like a cardboard box and will defend it profusely.
Tilo has an odd relationship with her friend the blue toy octopus, it appears to be a love hate relationship whereby she likes to snuggle with Octopus and then kick him in the head, her social skills need work.
She also has personal space issues and often follows people in to the bathroom!
Tilo is indiscriminate with her affections and will demand attention from any one that enters the house, friend, family, social workers, sales men.
She has a nickname, ‘monkey puss’, don’t ask!!
Tilo is adopted.

This is her serious look!

This is her serious look!

She is a great listener, she’s always by my side when I need her and she gives the best cuddles, albeit a little scratchy sometimes. We have the best conversations whereby I do most of the talking and its impossible to feel lonely with her around.

The girls love her, they can be a little over enthusiastic with her though sometimes though and when this happens we do have a ‘no touching’ rule for a while. We have a permanent ‘no picking up rule’ in place and I think that’s helped the girls and her to respect each others boundary’s, although Tilo does need constant reminding that the girls ‘quiet time’ is not ‘look at Tilo time’!!

Octopus cuddles!

Octopus cuddles!

Tilo is not our only cat, we also have Pepsi whom we adopted before Tilo, but as she’s not really a people person she declined my request for an interview and simply told me to ‘talk to the paw’.

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Baby Girls letter to her new teacher.

Published July 1, 2013 by thefamilyof5

I’ve put together introduction booklets for the girls new teachers in September, last year I shared Big Girls letter and many of you commented on how much you liked it so I’m going to share them all with you this time.

Hello my name is Baby Girl

My mummy has put together this little booklet to help you understand me.

In 2010 I came to live with my new mummy and daddy. I’ve had a very difficult start in life and this has meant that I’ve developed a little differently to other children, I’m emotionally and socially very behind so I might need you to be extra considerate of this sometimes and not expect me to be the same as the other children my age.

Mommy says your school will be good for me as it’s small and calm and will help me feel safe, my last school was very big and busy and I felt very anxious a lot of the time. When I’m anxious I worry about who will meet my needs, that can mean I spend a lot of time in the medical room with fake hurts and invisible bumps, but please don’t send me away, I’m just making sure someone will take care of me. Sometimes I get worried about food as well, mummy says I’m obsessed with food when I’m stressed. Mummy also says I’m very clever and if you help me to feel safe then I will be able to stop worrying about making sure I’m safe and will be able to show you just how clever I really am.

Sometimes the adults in my early life did things to make me feel scared and frightened, my life was very chaotic. This means I find it very hard to trust adults around me to keep me safe. Mommy says I need to know you’re keeping an eye on me. If I think you’ve forgotten me I will do something silly to try and get your attention. Please let me know I’m safe by keeping a close eye on me. Because my life used to be so chaotic, I sometimes crave that familiar chaos around me, I find comfort in children that create chaos. Please help me to make better choices with my friendships, it’s important for me to learn that I can be happy without chaos in my life for me to be able to heal from my past traumas.

Sometimes when it looks like I’m having lots of fun and behaving ‘silly or excited’, I’m actually not coping very well and may need your help to calm me down and reassure me that everything is ok. I find unstructured time at school a little overwhelming because I can’t regulate my behavior. Mummy says I’m a bit like a bottle of fizzy pop, and the excitement of school shakes me up and up, so you need to help keep me calm to I don’t fizz all over the place. When I’m coping I’m very kind, considerate, thoughtful, chatty and sensitive.

I might get upset if we do any work or topics on families or about when we were babies.  Some of my memories may be difficult for me to think about as well as talk about, there may be things I don’t know about my early years making it even more difficult for me to take part. I can get very confused and upset about my past.

There hasn’t been many things in my life that I’ve been able to control so I like to take control of other things and I do this at school by not eating my lunch. Please help me to learn that not eating my lunch will only make me feel hungry, please don’t let me spend all of my lunch break in the dinner hall, Mommy says 20 to 30 minutes is plenty and please don’t give me snacks or milk if I say I’m hungry, mummy says she will make sure I don’t starve.

It would really help my mummy if you could tell her about any upsets, sulks or strops I have at school. I don’t like telling my mummy when I’ve had a bad day. Mummy likes to help me when I’ve been finding things difficult by keeping me close and calm so I can feel safe again.

My mummy has put this book together to help you understand me I hope you will read it. If you want to talk to my mummy about anything in this book or anything you see me doing or hear me saying, she will be happy to chat, she can talk about me for hours and she knows me better than anyone else.

My mummy has put lots of useful information in this booklet, please copy anything you might want to refer to again or keep as a reminder, please give this book back to mummy when you’ve had a good read so she can give it to my next teacher next year. Mommy says she knows me better than anyone else so if she can do anything to help you, help me, she will.

I hope we have a lovely time learning together.

Copies of Education Now and Understanding Why included.

Middle Girls letter to her new teacher.

Published July 1, 2013 by thefamilyof5

I’ve put together introduction booklets for the girls new teachers in September, last year I shared Big Girls letter and many of you commented on how much you liked it so I’m going to share them all with you this time.

Hello my name is Middle Girl

My mummy has put together this little booklet to help you understand me.

In 2010 I came to live with my new mummy and daddy. I’ve had a very difficult start in life and this has meant that I’ve developed a little differently to other children, I’m emotionally very behind, I also have difficulties with auditory processing and memory so I might need you to be extra considerate of this sometimes and not expect me to be the same as the other children my age.

Sometimes the adults in my early life did things to make me feel scared and frightened. I will always do my best to keep the adults around me happy by keeping them close, being extra helpful and chatting to them, I also smile a lot as adults like that.

My previous school was very big and very busy and even though I look like I enjoy school very much, I hide behind my smile because I’m scared, I need you to help me feel safe so that I don’t have to hide any more. I don’t have much confidence and my self-esteem is rock bottom my mummy says, I find my work really hard and I’m very behind but I don’t let that stop me, I always work enthusiastically because I want to please you, I need you to see when I’m pushing myself to hard and help me to see that you still think I’m great even if I get things wrong or don’t understand.

Sometimes when it looks like I’m having lots of fun and behaving ‘silly’, I’m actually very anxious and may need your help to calm me down and reassure me that everything is ok. I might get worried if I see a new face in the corridor, I might worry it’s a social worker coming to take me away to a new home. I might get upset if we do any work or topics on families or about when we were babies.  Some of my memories may be difficult for me to think about as well as talk about, there may be things I don’t know about my early years making it even more difficult for me to take part.

I often get things mixed up and sometimes when you tell the class things like ‘if you have some shoe boxes at home please bring them for next week’s topic’ I’ll get very worried and tell mummy that I MUST have a box for the next day. Mummy understands that I get mixed up and tells me that if I need to take something into class then I must get a letter or note so she knows what is actually expected rather than my mixed up messages, please could you help me by making sure mummy knows if I need to bring anything in to school or do something for you.

I love to play with my friends on the playground but mummy worry’s that my language difficulties might make it difficult to chat to my peers, please can you keep an eye on me on the playground and help me if I’m struggling with my peer group.

It would really help my mummy if you could tell her about any upsets, sulks or strops I have at school. I don’t like telling my mummy when I’ve had a bad day and I’m very good at hiding things from people because I have such a good smile. Mummy likes to help me when I’ve been finding things difficult by keeping me close and calm so I can feel safe again.

My mummy has put this book together to help you understand me I hope you will read it. If you want to talk to my mummy about anything in this book or anything you see me doing or hear me saying, she will be happy to chat, she can talk about me for hours and she knows me better than anyone else.

My mummy has put lots of useful information in this booklet, please copy anything you might want to refer to again or keep as a reminder, please give this book back to mummy when you’ve had a good read so she can give it to my next teacher next year. Mommy says she knows me better than anyone else so if she can do anything to help you, help me, she will.

I hope we have a lovely time learning together.

Copies of Education Now and Understanding Why, and Middle Girls Speech & Language Passport included.

Big Girls letter to her new teacher.

Published July 1, 2013 by thefamilyof5

I’ve put together introduction booklets for the girls new teachers in September, last year I shared Big Girls letter and many of you commented on how much you liked it so I’m going to share them all with you this time.

Hello my name is Big Girl

My mummy has put together this little booklet to help you understand me.

In 2010 I came to live with my new mummy and daddy. I’ve had a very difficult start in life and this has meant that I’ve developed a little differently to other children, I’m emotionally and socially very behind so I might need you to be extra considerate of this sometimes and not expect me to be the same as the other children my age. I’m also autistic which Mommy says makes me very special as I get to see the world differently to everyone else.

Sometimes the adults that were in control of my early life did things to make me feel scared and frightened. This has meant that I sometimes find it very hard to let adults be in control, sometimes I feel like the only way I can keep safe is to be in control myself. I might do this by being super helpful or chatting to you a lot. This sometimes means I forget to just be a little girl and do little girl things so I might need you to help me do things children do, rather than things adults do by helping me to feel safe. I sometimes forget the differences between adults and children and might try to get you to be my friend instead of my teacher, I’ll need you to make sure this doesn’t happen but please be careful not to reject me, I’ve suffered enough rejection my mummy says.

I’ve been finding school very difficult, my old school is big and busy and noisy and I don’t always cope with this very well which is why Mommy thinks your small, calm school will help me to feel relaxed and safe. Sometimes I might still feel scared and frightened, but I won’t know how to tell you this so I need you to keep a close eye on my behavior and my mood, I’m very good at pretending to be ok.

Classrooms can be quite scary for me. There are children all around and people walking around outside and up and down the corridors. Please help me by sitting me close to you and with my back to a wall and not a door, that way I don’t need to be worried about what’s going on behind me. My hearing is really good, I developed this early on as a way to keep myself safe, this means that I may become easily distracted by other noises inside and outside of the classroom, I might also hear conversations not meant for me, please don’t be annoyed with me, I’m just trying to keep myself safe.

I don’t have much confidence and my self-esteem is rock bottom my mummy says, so sometimes when you ask me to try to do something I’m so scared of getting it wrong and upsetting you that I choose not to even try. I will need you to gently encourage me, but please don’t try and force me as this will scare me. I will always try to keep you happy as that’s when I will feel safest so just because I say I understand what my work/homework is, it’s doesn’t mean I really do, I just don’t want to annoy you so please make sure I really have understood what you’ve asked me to do by asking me to explain it back to you.

Sometimes when it looks like I’m having lots of fun and behaving ‘silly’, I’m actually very anxious and need your help to calm me down and reassure me that everything is ok. I might worry about new topics, new tasks and tests. I will find it really hard to talk or read in front of the class so please don’t make me if I don’t want to. When I’ve learnt to trust you I might feel a bit braver and more willing to try.  I also might get worried if someone new comes into the classroom or even if I see a new face in the corridor, I might worry it’s a social worker coming to take me away. I might get upset if we do any work or topics on families or about when we were babies.  Some of my memories may be difficult for me to think about as well as talk about, there may be things I don’t know about my early years making it even more difficult for me to take part. I might get worried about trips or new activities and will need you to explain to me exactly what is going to happen and what I will be doing and who will be keeping me safe, but if you can, please don’t tell me about things too early as I may worry about it at night when I’m trying to sleep. If I get really anxious, please let me know I can ring my mummy, sometimes just suggesting it is enough reassurance to let me know I’m safe and it’s all ok.

I find the playground very scary. I don’t really know how to make friends and I’m scared that if I try to be someone’s friend that they might not like me. There hasn’t been much in my life that I’ve been able to control so I prefer to do things  my way as that’s when I feel safest, the other children don’t always want to do things my way and I find this frustrating and sometimes get angry and hurt myself. It would really help my mummy if you could tell her about any upsets, sulks or strops I have at school.

I don’t like telling my mummy when I’ve had a bad day as I worry she might be disappointed with me. Mummy likes to help me when I’ve been finding things difficult by keeping me close and calm so I can feel safe again.

My mummy has put this book together to help you understand me, I hope you will read it. If you want to talk to my mummy about anything in this book or anything you see me doing or hear me saying, she will be happy to chat, she can talk about me for hours and she knows me better than anyone else.

My mummy has put lots of useful information in this booklet, please copy anything you might want to refer to again or keep as a reminder, please give this book back to mummy when you’ve had a good read so she can give it to my next teacher next year. Mommy says she knows me better than anyone else so if she can do anything to help you, help me, she will.

I hope we have a lovely time learning together.

Copy of Education Now and Understanding Why Included.

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