3 Years ago today!

Published May 19, 2013 by thefamilyof5

3 years ago today we travelled 3 and a half hours to the girls local authority and met with their teachers, nursery staff and foster carers.

3 years ago today I knew very little about child development.
3 years ago today I knew very little about the lasting effects of trauma.
3 years ago today I knew little about attachment.
3 years ago today I knew nothing of the education system.
3 years ago today I knew nothing of the mental health care system.
3 years ago today I knew nothing of post adoption support.
3 years ago today I had no understanding of how much adoption would change our entire lives.
3 years ago today I didn’t know how significant a tiny hand holding mine would be.
3 years ago today I had no idea how much ‘sleep’ would impact our lives.
3 years ago today I knew nothing of parenting a child on the autistic spectrum.
3 years ago today I didn’t know how warming childrens laughter could be.
3 years ago today I didn’t know how the tiniest of milestones would bring us the greatest of joy.
3 years ago today I didn’t know how many tears I’d cry.
3 years ago today I didn’t envisage life often feeling so hard.
3 years ago today It didn’t occur to me that some of my friends weren’t my friends at all.
3 years ago today I didn’t even know what CAMHS was.
3 years ago today It didn’t enter my head that some of our family would choose to leave our lives.
3 years ago today I didn’t know how many people would judge, criticise and berate me.

3 years later I now know Post adoption support is something you have to fight for.
3 years later I’m fighting a school system that doesn’t and won’t even try to understand.
3 years later I have a child with an ASD diagnosis, 1 with Auditory Processing Difficulties and the knowledge that there may be more to come.
3 years later I know about attachment.
3 years later I’m living with the effects of early trauma.
3 years later I still don’t understand the mental health system.
3 years later I still don’t understand the education system.
3 years later I’m somewhat of an expert on childrens sleep disorders.
3 years later I’ve attended over 25 CAMHS appointments.
3 years later I know how precious any kind of ‘touch’ is from a child with attachment difficulties.
3 years later I’ve lost count of the tears I’ve cried.
3 years later I love to listen to the girls laugh.
3 years later I’ve still not got used to friends and family ‘leaving’.
3 years later I’m still not used to being judged, criticised and berated.
3 years later an act of defiance is classed as a joyous milestone.
3 years later I know how hard adoption can and does feel.
3 years later I have more (adoptive) friends than I’ve ever had.
3 years later I know what a dramatic difference adoption has made to my life.

3 years ago today I wasn’t a mummy.

3 years later I’m a mummy to 3 school aged children, they’re 3 traumatised children with attachment difficulties.

3 years later, like any new mum 3 years in to their first parenting experience, I’m still learning………………………every day.

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7 comments on “3 Years ago today!

  • I love the format of your post. Three years ago Ella and I were both pregnant and we were very different people to how we are now. Only our lack of a functional birth family hasn’t changed. 😦

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