Those of you that follow my blog will know that for more than a year now we’ve been struggling with middle girls sleep, not necessarily her sleep, or lack of, but the fact that she shares a room with her baby sister, who needs lots of sleep. We’ve tried everything from reward charts to changing bedrooms around. Non of it helped. Things got so bad that in November last year we took the difficult decision to move middle girl in to our room, its been awful. I’m tired, she’s tired and our relationship is suffering, a lot.
Those of you that follow will also know that we’ve asked the placing authority to help us, in fact we’ve asked, pleaded, begged, so many times I’ve lost count.
In January things were at an all time low and I knew we needed help. I contacted our local MP to see if they could offer any advice, I mentioned it in my post here. It took some arranging but I did eventually make an appointment in the middle of February, I didn’t feel it was a successful meeting but our local MP did agree to contact our placing authority to see if there was something that could be done.
Whilst all of this was taking place I also decided to contact Sir Martin Narey to see if he could offer any advice or support, I mentioned it here. 2 days later he replied asking me for a little more information on our situation. A day later he replied saying he would contact the head of Children’s services at our placing authority and put our case forward, he was very clear that he had no powers here but he could at least ensure our case was heard at the highest level. Around a week later I received an email from Sir Martin Narey, he was on holiday so apologised for the delay, (delay!? the man emailed me from his holiday, he deserves a knighthood just for that, what a lovely man). Anyway he emailed me to let me know that he’d received “a sympathetic reply from the director of children’s services”. This email came through to me on the same day that we attended a meeting with the placing authority and CAMHS, I talked about it here. What I didn’t mention in this post was that prior to the meeting with CAMHS we also had a meeting with just us and the placing authority to discuss our support needs and how they could help us. We talked again about how we desperately needed an extra bedroom but were unable to afford it by ourselves and really needed some financial help with it. I’d had this conversation over the phone on many occasions and was always presented with the same response which was ‘”unfortunately there is no provision for housing needs in your support package”. Only this time there were people involved, important people, people who could make a difference, people who were talking things over in the background out of sight, they were the people that could.
On Wednesday 20th we, well I, received a phone call from the placing authority. The call was to let us know that they would be helping us with the financial aspect of building an extension, there were some clauses and some legal matters that needed to be agreed and discussed but THEY WERE OFFERING TO HELP US! I, We were/are elated!
I cant tell you how blown away we’ve been to hear this news, we’ve been so shocked that its actually taken me this long to gather my thoughts and order them well enough to be able to share this news with you all. We are truly grateful to the placing authority for offering this support, it really will be the glue that sticks us back together at a time when we are/were falling apart. Its saved us.
So there finally is a light at the end of the tunnel, middle girl will not still be sleeping in our room when she’s 18 and my relationship with her will have time to heal and my marriage will get back that ‘closeness and privacy’ we’ve lost. But more importantly, we can ALL move forward as a family and begin to work through some of the issues the girls face as a result of their early trauma’s and start to heal, we’ve all been so tired and preoccupied with sleep that up until now we’ve not been able to do anything other than think about sleep, but soon, soon we can start the process of healing.
Sir Martin Narey is and always will be our ‘Knight’ in shinning armor, we wouldn’t be in the wonderful position we are now without his support I’m sure.
The placing authority have finally heard our cries for help, which were echoed by some important people and have come running to our aid.
We will be ok!