In the 3 months that middle girl slept in our room baby girl thrived, she grew so much she skipped an entire clothing size, she even seemed more content when she was sleeping, her schooling improved dramatically, her behaviour was much more ‘normal/appropriate’ and more importantly she started to develop more ‘healthy’ and ‘secure’ attachments. We saw a completely different child which told us this early waking thing had been going on much longer than the 12months we’d thought it had.
2 weeks ago we moved middle girl back into baby girls room.
The last 2 weeks have been a constant barrage of the familiar interrupting, antagonising, provoking, dropping, pushing, forgetting, not hearing, not seeing, objecting, not doing, controlling and re-traumatising.
Baby girl is tired. She has a tornado of tiredness wreaking havoc within her, she feels out of control and is sinking into chaos. She projects her inner state to the world around her. She’s feeling chaotic, therefore we’re all feeling it too.
I’d hoped those 3 months of secure, safe, chaos free lovely-ness would have been enough to keep her grounded through the tiredness.