And so it starts, again…..

Published February 11, 2013 by thefamilyof5

In the 3 months that middle girl slept in our room baby girl thrived, she grew so much she skipped an entire clothing size, she even seemed more content when she was sleeping, her schooling improved dramatically, her behaviour was much more ‘normal/appropriate’ and more importantly she started to develop more ‘healthy’ and ‘secure’ attachments. We saw a completely different child which told us this early waking thing had been going on much longer than the 12months we’d thought it had.

2 weeks ago we moved middle girl back into baby girls room.

The last 2 weeks have been a constant barrage of the familiar interrupting, antagonising, provoking, dropping, pushing, forgetting, not hearing, not seeing, objecting, not doing, controlling and re-traumatising.

Baby girl is tired. She has a tornado of tiredness wreaking havoc within her, she feels out of control and is sinking into chaos. She projects her inner state to the world around her. She’s feeling chaotic, therefore we’re all feeling it too.

I’d hoped those 3 months of secure, safe, chaos free lovely-ness would have been enough to keep her grounded through the tiredness.

It wasn’t.


12 comments on “And so it starts, again…..

      • I think 3 months probably does help, even if you see regression afterwards. I was placed in a foster care with a caring and I am trying to remember how long it was–probably no more than 8 months. The protective effects lasted a lifetime though, even though I was returned to my natural family where the abuse continued.

        Good luck on your journey.

      • I’m so sorry to hear you were returned to an abusive environment, the system failed you and I’m sorry for that. You seem to be someone that recognises feelings and emotions which is a wonderful basis for a happy life, I hope you’ve now found happiness x

      • Thanks. The system did fail me, but that was 1976. There were a lot of things we didn’t know about families and about children. And sometimes we just get a bit of bad luck. I’m grateful to the people who were there for me.

        Take care.

  • I am so sorry. If this was happening, at our house, I think the living room would become my bedroom. I am sure if this would work for you, you would have already thought of it/tried it….Lack of sleep plus dealing with traumatized kids….all I can do is send hugs.

  • We had sleep troubles at our house too. We bought a baby video monitor. Yes, my kid was way older than infant but it gave me both eyes and ears in her room all night long if I desired. I could sleep well knowing that any noise would alert me and I could get an instant view of what the disturbance was. If it was a restless moment before returning to sleep then I could return to sleep too. If it was something else, then I could drag myself out of bed and go deal with the issue. Perhaps if you wanted to try the living room again for yourself you wouldn’t feel so far away. Or for baby girl (she actually sleeps the best, right?); then you can “be there” with her from the comfort of your own bed. I sincerely hope something gives soon for you all – sleep is vital for our sanity! (Oh, the other day I was wondering if any of the rooms were big enough to put a partition in and create two from one? My guess is you’ve already ruled that our as well, but just thought I’d mention it.)

  • Forgive me if I’ve asked this before or you’ve already said but is there any way little girl can sleep in with you instead of middle girl? It sounds like little girl wouldn’t disturb you as much.

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