Today was baby girls cognitive assessment (middle girls was last week, I’ll write more about those another time). I decided it was a good opportunity to give baby girl the day off school. After all, sending her to school when she’s tired feels like I’m throwing her to the lions.
We attended her assessment 1st thing after dropping her sisters to school. She was more concerned about what and where she was going to eat that day than the actual visit to the CAMHS offices. So I assured her I had a snack in my bag for when she’d finished showing the lady what a clever girl she was.
60 minutes later she came running out to me having finished the assessment. Her 1st words were ‘can I have my snack now mommy’. Baby girl is and has always been food obsessed, but its always worse when she’s tired because her tiredness makes her more anxious and she feels more out of control.
I gave her the snack which she happily chomped on. ‘My legs hurt’ ‘I’m cold’ ‘I think I’m tired’ were constant phrases on the journey back to the car. She looked tired, and I knew she’d been awake (woken) much earlier than she could cope with. How about we pop to the shop, get a few bits and have an early lunch while we’re there? ‘Yes yes yes’ she said. So we did.
Lunch was hard work, even though she’d had the complete freedom to choose what she wanted I constantly had to refocus her, stop her from messing with things, remind her to sit up and not lie down, remind her to eat and not lay on her food, stop her from knocking over her drink, dropping her food etc etc you get the picture.
I’d planned to come home and make biscuits with baby girl, I thought it’d be great fun and a lovely bonding activity. Until I heard from the back of the car……
‘Mommy, when we get home can I have a blanket and snuggle, I tired?’
Of course you can.
So no biscuit making.
We got home, baby girl was shattered but didn’t want to have a nap, which is understandable, she’s nearly 6 now, 6yr olds don’t want to nap in the day.
It broke my heart to see her so tired, she should have been running rings round me, but she just didn’t have the energy.
I rang the placing authority. I cried. Again.
‘What should I do?’ I asked.
‘We don’t know’ they said.
I emailed Martin Narey today.
Tomorrow I have to throw her to the lions aka send her to school.