I made a phone call to the senco at school last week. We’d not seen baby girls home school diary since November. It seems the teacher had thought things were going so well that it was no longer needed, but the senco had a word and it returned home the following day.
Baby girl also mentioned to me that the dinner lady that she’d been sitting with at lunch times has been telling her that ‘she’s a good girl now so she doesn’t need to sit with her any more’.
Hmmmm knowing that we were going to put middle girl back in baby girls room I thought it best to pre-warn them of the looming fall-out. So I wrote it in baby girls home school diary and made a mental note to mention it at my meeting with the Educational Psychologist (see prev blog entry).
I met with the Educational Psychologist today, later I collected baby girl and her sisters from school.
Baby girls teacher gestured across the playground that she’d like a word. I did the walk of shame for the first time in a very long time.
Teacher: we’ve had a very bad day today I’m afraid.
Me: oh dear what’s happened
Teacher: well there was an incident and baby girl threw a stick blah blah blah blah blah
*I stopped listening, all I could think was ‘I told you so’
Me: oh dear, did you read my note in her diary (I knew she hadn’t)
Teacher: Yes I read it all
Me: So you shouldn’t be surprised at the down turn in her behaviour, I was expecting it wasn’t you?
Teacher: I’m sorry?
*see, she hadn’t read it, and neither had she listened to me at parents evening in october or on the numerous walks of shame she put me through when I explained the sleep issues we were having with middle girl and baby girl. So I reminded her.
Teacher: oh, so middle girls been sleeping in your room since November?
*she doesn’t listen does she
Me: yes, from November until last Thursday, which was what I wrote in her diary.
Teacher: oh I see
Me: so whilst I agree she did something wrong and she needs to know it was wrong, you also need to consider that she’s sleep deprived. She has a hurricane of tiredness whirling around inside her and she can’t cope with it.
Teacher: but she does need to learn to make good choices, I expect her to be able to behave the same as I expect the other children her age to behave.
*she clearly didn’t read the introduction booklet I made for her in September either
Me: she can’t, she can barely function, she’s already dealing with loss and trauma and trying to figure out her ‘life story’ never mind having to fight through her tiredness now, she’s done well to hold it together for the last 3 months, I don’t think I could go through what she has and then sit down and learn to read. She’s poorly attached and insecure, she’s even more insecure at school which makes her feel frightened and scared, you can’t expect her to be the same as the other children, because she’s not.
She’s hard work even for me, but she needs you to help her not punish her.
Teacher: oh I see, right ok, well thanks for this little chat, I’ll have to keep a closer eye on her, she must be exhausted the poor girl.
*finally, she listened!
I walked off the playground feeling quite pleased with myself singing a little song in head that I made up ‘Told you so, Told you so, Told you so’
Disclaimer: some words in this conversation may have been altered/improvised to ensure that the reader here is not subjected to the laborious and frustrating conversation I had on the playground tonight