The Knock-On Effect

Published January 24, 2013 by thefamilyof5

At 3 am this morning I was sat on my sofa feeling very sorry for myself, unable to sleep in my own room due to middle girl, I once again followed a very unsettled pussy cat down the stairs. This is becoming a regular occurrence, it was 3am today, yesterday was 4 am, the morning before 4.20am and I can’t even recall the times from the previous mornings but needless to say it was early.

I generally bring myself downstairs, pillow in tow, feed my cats and settle down on the sofa with a blanket and my pillow. Its not ideal but I can’t sleep through her constant thrashing about. It takes me about 40 minutes to get back to sleep on the sofa and then hubby wakes me when he gets up for work at 5.40am. So its not great.

This morning I came downstairs and after so many nights with hardly any sleep I just couldn’t hold back the tears! I was shattered but for some reason I just could not sleep. We have goldfish in our lounge and I’m convinced they were trying to escape their tank by chucking stones at the glass. So when hubby got up at 5.20am after giving up trying to sleep through the constant thrashing about, I thought I’d try my luck with my bed again. Middle girl had other idea’s, if she wasn’t banging her feet or coughing she was messing with the plastic material on the underside of our divan bed.

At 6am I made the decision not to send the girls to school and sent an email to the school office, I didn’t feel I was alert enough to drive in the snow and ice and I barely had the energy to speak never mind walk to school and with no one local I can call upon for help with the school run (not that the girls would cope well with being taken to school by someone else any way), I had no other choice but to call it a snow day. The downside to this meant I still had to deal with 3 little people and their constant demands and needs all day.

I’m sat here, on my sofa, feeling really rather ill, stressy, fed up and utterly exhausted. When will this end, where will this end. It can’t carry on like this, we can’t carry on like this, I can’t carry on like this!

All of the professionals we’ve seen about this say middle girl needs a room of her own, but our finances won’t stretch this far and the placing authority will only offer us sympathy. In my opinion, adopted siblings should never be put in a placement where they have to share a room, trauma breeds trauma and they need somewhere they can escape from it.

Perhaps someone will take us seriously when the girls education starts to suffer through tiredness, stress and lack of attendance!
Or maybe our family has to fall apart completely before someone will take note!


6 comments on “The Knock-On Effect

  • Hi – you sound how I feel at the moment. I have just had to call in for support and help. Whilst all seems hunkydory at school, homelife has hit a wall, and I see no way out without masses of support for J (and me).
    I hope you find the support you need.

  • I really hope you get some support soon. Financial support is of course the hardest to come by, and we’re in a similar (though not yet so severe) situation, where an extra bedroom would help, so Mini and his sister didn’t have to share.
    I’m co-hosting a new link-up – The Weekly Adoption Shout-Out #WASO, be great if you could join-in, you might come across some more supportive adopters…

  • I very painfully remember how this feels – to just keep looking and praying and asking for answers that just never come! You love ’em and you know it’s crappy stuff in their past that made ’em act the way they act, and you know you have to somehow fix the way they act or their whole life will never get better, but nobody knows how to fix ’em! Yeah – and it is 24/7 and 365 and who knows how many years.

    I will tell you – raising a child from infancy is so much more intuitive than raising damaged kids. I still love my 1st 3 troubled sons – but I’d never do THAT again.

    GOD, I wish I knew how to get that girl of yours to chill. Is there any chance she just doesn’t need as much sleep as you wish she needed? What if you kept her up later? (I, too, cringe at that thought). And I almost want to tell you to just give her a spoonful of whiskey with honey … (Forgive me)

    I hope you find a solution! ((Hugs)) Rani

    • Thanks for your kind words Rani. We have tried keeping her up later, it makes no difference. The waking early isn’t the issue as I think she is just one of these children that needs less sleep. Its the waking everyone else up that’s the problem, because her sisters, and I, do need more sleep 😀

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