First of all let me explain why I’ve decided to name this Part 3.
Part 1 was the first family therapist that we started seeing January 2012. In July 2012, he left.
Part 2 was the replacement family therapist that we started seeing September 2012.
Part 3 is the Child psychotherapist that appears to have taken over from the family therapist. I say ‘appears’ because, at our last appointment the family therapist invited along a child psychotherapist to join us and said he would be joining the ‘team’. However, this appointment, was just the child psychotherapist and I and there was no reference made to the family therapist joining us anytime in the future.
So, back to today’s session. He was late, only 4 minutes but when your limited to an hour those 4 minutes are important. He started the meeting by discussing the arrangements for a meeting at the end of February that he’s managed to persuade the placing authority to make the 8hour round trip to attend, impressive! That should be a good meeting.
We then talked about how christmas had been and more specifically how it must feel to be mommy to my girls. ‘Empty’ was a word he used quite a lot and I felt that was quite a good description.
We chatted about baby girl and middle girl the most and we discussed the challenges I face parenting ‘compliant’ children. We chatted about their early experiences and how birth mom had been an attentive mother for the first 3 months of their lives but had then become very unpredictable and emotionally unavailable and how this had been the pattern of care for all of her children.
He said he felt that listening to my description of the girls behaviours and knowing that piece of information from their early experiences leads him to feel that my girls are suffering the effects of loss and more specifically, abandonment. He feels long term therapy is what’s needed.
Moving forward he asked me what I would like to happen. I requested cognitive assessments on baby girl and middle girl and some long term support from the placing authority to ensure we can meet the needs of long term therapy. He told me he agreed with my requests and would make arrangements for the cognitive assessments, he would also ring the placing authority to stress the importance of them supporting us long term. He also added that he wanted to conduct some assessments of his own with the girls to ‘see where they’re at emotionally’.
Now I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but this guys promised more at this one appointment than the other 2 promised over the last 12 months, so, I’m hopeful that this isn’t just another carrot.
I emailed our MP last night on the advice of a friend as I was feeling I needed some extra clout to get some support, I might hold off for a few weeks and see how things go?!