I’m not sure if I’ve gone in to this much before, but I’ve always felt there was some resentment from middle girl towards baby girl. Possibly due to baby girl having been in a different foster care placement to middle and big girl.
There are lots of things that have happened over the last 2 years to make me think this, the recent sleeping issues is just the latest.
I’ve also mentioned baby girls issues around control and food. And her difficulties in nursery, reception and now year 1.
The lunch time difficulties have continued and increased as her sleep has dwindled. She ‘drops’ her lunch, she chucks it in the bin, she gives it to someone else, she eats other peoples lunch then after becoming totally dysregulated she gets ‘distracted’ and spends time messing about in the toilets. We’ve tried everything to encourage her eat her lunch. I’ve spoken to school about it on many many occasions over the years.
Last week I requested that baby girl sit with a dinner lady that’s been assigned to sit with another child. The school agreed and told me that the dinner lady wouldn’t be able to ‘deal’ with baby girl as her priority is the other child which I totally understood and agreed with, but she would be able to ‘supervise’ her eating. I was happy with this.
Yesterday was the first day of the new arrangements. It went brilliantly, baby girl ate all her lunch and in a reasonable time too. Because she was sat with an adult she was able to remain regulated meaning there was no messing about after lunch, no getting in trouble in class.
Baby girl got lots of praise for this, lots.
Today, middle girl decided she also wanted to sit with baby girl at lunch time, she’s never done this before.
There was chattering and fun and time ticked away. The dinner lady left because the boy she was with finished his lunch. Meaning baby girl was left sat with middle girl.
Middle girl decided it was her job to tidy up baby girls lunch things and tell her what to do, there was more chatter and silliness. A drink was spilt and middle girl told baby girl to throw some of her lunch in the bin, the rest got dropped on the floor.
It seems middle girl will go to all sorts of lengths to spoil things for baby girl.
Baby girl was in trouble in class today, several times.
I’ve cried today, several times.
Where will this ‘sibling rivalry’ take us?! No where good I suspect!