Any Parent will tell you that their sick (secure, well-adjusted) kids are hard work, they whinge, they whine, they want a drink, they don’t want a drink, their head hurts, their tummy hurts, they’re hot, they’re cold, they want a cuddle, they don’t want a cuddle, they need their teddy, but not the one you offer them, they want a blanket but it makes them too hot, they want you to stay with them but they want you to fetch them things to meet their needs as well. They drive you mad with demands, wants, needs and expectations and of course a little bit of milking it for all they can along the way!
Sick compliant insecure traumatized kids are all of those but you wouldn’t know! Dont be fooled in to thinking this is a good thing!
In fact the only way you can tell they’re sick is because they look off colour, or they’ve just vomited all over you, or you can see they’re burning up, or there’s blood gushing from somewhere or bits hanging off. They wont tell you, they wont ask for anything, they’ll deny their illness to the death and drive you insane with the frustration of not knowing the need your expected to meet, or the hurt you need to treat (unless it’s obvious by the gushing blood or detached limb of some description that is!) or the bug you need to starve or the cold you need to feed.
They will not show you their weakness yet they expect you to be the good mummy you promised you were and see through their walls of steel and meet their every need, blindfolded!
I have 3 “fine” children today, 2 of which, are anything but ‘fine’!