Today I took my first step in doing something just for me.
I signed up to volunteer with a couple of different volunteer agency’s last year. I’ve volunteered for a whole 2 hours for one agency and zero hours for the other. So I decided a few weeks ago it was time to take matters into my own hands. I contacted the girls school and offered my services. They were very keen, a crb check and a quick 2 weeks later and I was ready to start.
I did my first ‘shift/afternoon’ today as a reading helper. This morning I sorted out my old work clothes, well, a pair of trousers and heels, it made a lovely change from my usual jeans and flats and I felt ‘more’, more than ‘just’ a mom!
I was assigned to a year 4 class, children aged 8-9. They were just lovely. I’m not ashamed to admit I was terrified, I thought they’d chew me up and spit me out but they didn’t. They were actually excited, one girl even ran towards me clutching her book in excitement, they wanted to impress ME, they wanted to please me and they beamed with pride when I praised their excellent reading skills, it was so rewarding!
I loved every minute and can’t wait for next week!
My big girl spotted me in school today and nearly burst with excitement and my middle girl was so surprised to see me in ‘work wear’ that she almost tripped me up on the playground by tugging up my trouser leg to admire my ‘pretty shoes’.
Being mummy to my girls is everything to me, but it can feel so ‘one way’ sometimes. They don’t want to ‘please me’, they just want to stay safe. They’re so caught up with making sure their own needs are met that they give very little back. So today was a lovely change, the children gave me, as much as I gave them. It was warming.
I’ll always be my girls mummy and their needs will always come first, but I need something for me too.