I decided to keep my big girl off school today. She claimed to be well this morning but was unable to eat her breakfast, telling me her claims were not true. I later discovered that she had a sore throat and a headache.
She still had to come on the school run with me as we have no one local to call upon during times like this. She seemed ok though, and happily skipped across the playground.
We returned from school and it started. As soon we walked through the door she started the dictating and narrating.
‘Mommy I’ll get my slippers on and you’ll make me a drink wont you’
‘Mommy your just going to put some washing on aren’t you’
‘Mommy this is finished now so you’ll find me something else to watch wont you’
‘Mommy you’ll give me a wipe when I’ve eaten my banana wont you’
‘Mommy your reading a book aren’t you’
Mommy………………………….’ You get the message.
I know why she does this, I understand that she needs to check that she can trust me to meet her needs, I know that she needs to remind me that she’s here incase I forget about her and I know that my calm predictable responses make her feel safe. This doesn’t make it, in any way, any less irritating.
Fortunately for me, she is ill, and she only had the energy to keep this up for the morning, by the afternoon she was happy to quietly sit and watch a film. Dont get me wrong, she didn’t take her attention away from me entirely. Whenever I breathed differently, or shifted in my seat, or turned my head, moved my hand etc her eyes would immediately dart over to me. She was constantly watching my every move, all day.
My big girl is always like this, today was just more intense because of the situation. I’m constantly being watched by all 3 of my girls, my every movement and my every sound is more important to my girls than any thing else in their lives, even sweets!
I’m usually left feeling exhausted by the evening, my days feel like a very long job interview.
Position applying for: Mummy.