Apparently, without noticing my life has dipped into the darkness of depression, what a depressing thought.
I saw my gp today about heart burn/acid refux. We got to talking about the cause of it and stress was mentioned. I was asked to complete a short questionnaire. I don’t recall many of the questions but I do remember ticking ‘never’ by the question asking if I ever wished I was dead.
My gp did a quick score up and then told me that my score indicated that I was moderately to severely depressed. I was quite shocked by this news. ‘But I don’t feel sad’ I told her. I knew I was a little stressed out and had half expected a prescription of Gaviscon and advice to drink some calming camomile tea, so to discover I was depressed was quite a depressing revelation indeed!
I was offered a combination of treatments, self help books, counselling and drugs! The D word made me feel quite panicky and against my GP’s advice I declined medication. The counselling and books however seemed quite harmless so I accepted her offer of those just to keep her on side. Although I did wonder how I’m supposed to concentrate long enough to read a book given that I currently have the attention span of a goldfish! but I’ll give it a go to keep her happy, I chose a book called ‘How to stop worrying’.
The counselling offer made me feel a little excited if I’m honest, finally someone I can moan too!! I may become their worst patient, the poor counsellor may need counselling themselves after listening to me off load about my life!
So I left the GP with a script for a book, a referral for counselling and an offer of drugs! Oh and some Gaviscon. It was almost like one of those trips to the supermarket when you buy everything but the bread you went in for, I’d almost forgot that my appointment was because I wanted something for my heartburn!
I left with something else too, something I hadn’t expected at all. I left with lighter shoulders. I felt as if a weight had been lifted, but it was a weight I hadn’t even known was there?!