I read a really sad news article this weekend. It was about a couple whose hopes and dreams of becoming a family were shattered when they adopted 2 angelic little girls. (read here)
Little did they know when they were matched with these 2 little girls that they had already been subjected to unbelievable trauma in their short little lives already. Trauma that would shape the rest of their lives. Trauma that would destroy their family.
The end result for this poor couple was divorce and long-term prison sentences for both of their daughters before they were even 23 years old. 18 years of hell, no one can prepare for that!
So how did this happen? Who failed this family? Who is to blame?
My guess, everyone! Everyone who should have been there to support them didn’t.
Adoptive family’s are failed every day by the people and organisations that promise to support them.
They’re the ones who criticise, leaving the adoptive parents feeling inadequate.
They’re the ones who judge, leaving the adoptive parents feeling hopeless.
Their local authority!
They’re the ones who turn their backs, leaving the adoptive parents feeling abandoned.
They’re the ones who fail to provide, leaving the adoptive parents unable to afford the support services needed for their damaged children.
Society as a whole fail to realise what a massive challenge adoption is, leaving the adoptive parents feeling overwhelmed, abandoned, judged, criticised, hopeless and inadequate. Is it any surprise then that in the UK alone one in every five adoptions fail and who’s to say the other four live happily ever after!
Support is a crucial part of adoptive parenting, without it, the results can be devastating as this poor family found out.
I discovered today that my next support group meeting is more than 3 months after the last one I attended.
No lessons were learnt from this poor family’s devastation it seems.