Tough Love

Published April 13, 2012 by thefamilyof5

My baby girl is growing up. The toilet step is now gone. The dinning room booster seat is no more. As she grows her wardrobe changes, her clothes are no longer 18-24mth they’re now 3-4 years and growing fast. She no longer needs help doing up her coat. She can write her own name without my help. She’s learning to read books and write her own words. She’s inquisitive, she wants to know more and more!

Yet the more she grows and the more independent she becomes in life, the more dependant on me she becomes. She’s letting me be her mummy.

She finally needs me rather than just wants me, and she lets me know in her own little ways. She’s sometimes clingy, but in a natural way rather than the attention seeking/fear for her life kind of way she did before. When I say ‘No’ she now feels safe enough to question me and try to persuade me to change my mind, even though I never have and never will change my mind 🙂 but this is what kids do isn’t it. They ask for things! She wants to cuddle and snuggle with me because im her mom and im safe and not just because she wants to take the attention from her sisters. She will come to me when she needs a mummy’s touch and she will ask me for my help. She’s not easy to parent, I’ve cried a lot, but I feel privileged that she’s finally allowing me to be her mummy.

This easter half terms been a tough one. She’s had a cold/cough that has kept her awake and when my baby girl is tired she really is no fun at all. She pushes and pushes and then pushes some more. Her need for control goes through the roof. She becomes agitated, fidgety, even Manic like. You can’t talk to or reason with her when she’s like this. She’s difficult to even like.

Today I finally got my baby girl back. Its been sometime since I saw her last. I’ve only managed the occasional glimpse of her between mood changes for a while now. Today she came back and stayed for the whole day. She slept well the last couple of nights as her cold is passing. Today she’s been content, happy and calm, she’s been just lovely in fact. She has such an amazing character, she’s funny and caring, kind and thoughtful, she has the ability to make the people around her smile inside.

I wish I could always have her this way,  loving her would be so easy.

4 comments on “Tough Love

  • That is really heart warming. There is a thing which I think is called “anchoring” and basically it is creating an association between something physical (yet pretty much unrleated to the event) and an event with the idea being that by re-doing that physical anchor in the future you can easily bring back to recollection/feelings the way that such good times as this made you feel. So, for eg when you are next in one of these “nice times” where your daughter is actually chosing to let you be her mummy and maybe snuggling into you and you are getting all the nice feelings that come from such things you could perhaps squeeze your left thumb with your right hand and really fully feel all the nice feelings then imagine that the squeeze of your thumb “locks” that moment into like a time capsule so that when you are next in the really rough times and she is back to being a child that it is hard to even like all you need to do is trigger your “anchor” and experience for a short time all the nice feelings you got from the good time to help you in the bad. Might be worth a try.

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