Post Adoption Support

Published April 2, 2012 by thefamilyof5


I was going to leave it there and make this the shortest blog in the world, ever.

Instead I decided I at least owed you all a brief explanation even though I’m sure ‘PAH!’ gives you quite a clear picture.

So here goes………………….

Post adoption support are the ones who are supposed to understand the most, arent they?

They’re the ones I can turn too when I don’t know what else to do, arent they?

They’re the ones that help me when I need it most, arent they?

Apparently not.

They’re the ones that forget to return my stressed out call for help.

They’re the ones that give me inconsistent advice.

They’re the ones that lack empathy and understanding.

Hopefully that gives a better picture, if not the phrase ‘Chocolate fire-guard’ might clarify.



8 comments on “Post Adoption Support

  • PAS or lack of it is exactly what I have just been reading a lot about on the Adoption UK website and Tim Loughton said it is something he wishes to address and is going to be publishing a report later in this year. In the meantime have you contacted him outlining your experiences?

    • I havent no, thats not a bad idea. Post adoption support is terrible in my view, i have to say if i’d known how ‘abandoned’ i feel once the adoption order was granted i wouldnt have been so quick to put in for it :/
      We went from regular contact with social workers, which as much as some say they dont like that, i at least felt i had someone to go to, then when the order was granted it went to nothing at all, not even a text/email to check we were ok. Im not sure what i think is needed but something is needed, there needs to be somewhere we can turn to if/when we need help and advice, there needs to be someone there to help us get support or in the least tell us what sort of support is available. We have 4 ‘proffessionals’ involved with our eldest at the moment but im still not sure who does what and where to go for different things, i’ve had to muddle through blindfolded, some guidance at least would be great. And dont get me started on the lack of support groups! :/
      Any way, i’ll stop moaning now, thanks for your comment 🙂

  • If you have not already read this Q&A from adopters/potential adopters put to Tim Loughton it might be worth a read, I am sure you will identify with a lot of what is said and it might help you formulate something you would want to say or write to Tim etc

    One thing I have always wondered though is whilst many adopted children really do need “outside” help ie mental health professionals etc do you ever fear that someone giving them lables like ADD, PTSD etc will in the long run ruin their chances in life. I have had two episodes of depression now in my history and I am sure that should I ever need to apply again for a full time job that “history” would go against me and I would struggle to get a job. I wondered if children grow up with “tags” like ADD etc is it doing to ruin any chance of a “normal” or “successful” adult life?

    • I guess it depends what the diagnosis is and the job your applying for. Im sure i’ve worked with many people/adults that have had ADHD and i know i worked with a guy with Aspergers, i doubt anyone puts this on their CV though, I wouldnt. 🙂 However a diagnosis, with the relevant support package, for a child can be the difference between becoming a functioning adult, and not.
      Thanks for the link i’ll take a look 🙂

  • That link might not go all the way to the thread, it seems to take to the overview of the message boards……the Q&A I am talking about are on the “Discussion Board” then the title “Discussions – All Topics” then it is a pinned thread at the top “Adoption Action Plan Q&A: Tim Loughton responds to your questions”

  • I think a diagnosis can open doors to all sorts of support, it just has to be an accurate. IMO better to be diagnosed with ADHD as a child and get appropriate help and understanding, than never diagnosed and go thru life without the help. If there is stigma attached to a diagnosis, that’s society’s problem, not the child’s.

    Although I do think the Developmental Trauma diagnosis some are fighting for is the best diagnosis for my kids, some kids will have that and autism/ADD/deprression etc…

    As for POS don’t get me started… You’d think those Social Workers who helped place the child would have some clue, but all the best info I’ve ever had has come from other adopters, though sometimes the info is so varied, conflicting and numerous, sometimes that doesn’t help either!!! The whole thing’s a mess.

    • I guess with every child being different the advice you’d get from other adoptiors would be different, I’ve found the only place to get TRUE understanding though, is other adoptors.

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