So I was attending my final SEAL (Social Emotional Aspects of Learning) session at school today.
Towards the end of the session I was called out of the group by my baby girls reception class teacher to be told that she’d been heard using the F word on the playground today and it wasn’t ‘Fab’.
I haven’t made a big deal of this with her, it wasn’t used in context so she has no real understanding of the word or even that it was a swear word, until she got in to trouble for saying it that is. I actually wish school had played it down a bit more too, I don’t want her thinking swearing is a good way to get attention, so for now, I’ve let it go unnoticed at home. I was however interested to hear the name of the little girl she said taught it to her, its the same name I heard when I was called aside twice the other week. I wonder if anything is being done to address this little girls ‘interesting’ influence on the other children?!
So back to the session, or so I thought.
A few moments later I was called from the group again, this time by my big girls teacher. Seems they handed out pen licences to some of the children in class this morning. My big girl was very unhappy not to get one and proceeded to spend the rest of the morning stropping, sulking, shouting at children and more alarmingly shouting at teachers and hitting herself.
You may think ‘ahhh she’s 7, kids eh’. But no, my big girl has never stropped at home like she does at school. Admittedly in the early days she did strop on occasion, mostly when she didn’t get her own way and yes she could drag it out. But we ignored it and she eventually came round and they became less often, she was just testing the boundaries. She’s always been compliant, too compliant in fact. Don’t get me wrong we still have the odd stomping of feet up the stairs and bottom lip being pushed out, but within minutes she’s smiling again and the incident is forgotten. So why does she escalate this behaviour at school and for so long. Are the teachers not firm enough so she pushes things, does she also see her teacher as ‘weak’ like I do?! or is it that I am suppressing her at home by being too strict?! But if it’s the latter does that mean that shouting sulking stropping and being rude is acceptable?! Aside from all of this, why did her teacher allow this to happen. She knew how much a pen license meant to my daughter so why not prepare her for the news and pull her aside before she started giving them out rather than dropping it on her like a bomb shell knowing she was going to be disappointed. I’m sure if she’d reassured her that ‘she’d noticed all her hard work, how much her handwriting was improving and that knew how much she wanted a pen license but this time she wouldn’t be getting one but she should still keep trying hard as it’ll be her turn soon’ or words to that effect, then I’m sure none of the strops would have taken place. Her teacher failed her today.
I’m seeing a growing pattern of this behaviour at school from both girls and I’m worried about what lies ahead.