So I had a call from school today, baby girl refusing to eat and saying she felt sick. My initial thoughts ‘she’s tired, she coughed all night, this is just one of her food control games’. I collected a smirky baby girl who was stood with a very over sympathetic teaching assistant cooing over her like she was on her death bed. My baby girl, aside from seeming to be enjoying the attention and playing her part by looking sorrowful, she appeared perfectly fine. So I brought her home and put her to bed for an hour. She slept. When I got her up I had to admit she looked a little worse for wear, was it just bed head and tiredness?! Who can tell, she fakes that many ‘hurts’ its difficult to know if/when it real.
Her quietness, persistent cough and flush cheeks as the evening drew in indicated it was genuine.
Bad Mommy for not believing her?!
My big girl hasn’t been to Rainbows for 2 weeks now due to her behaviour. She asked me this morning if she was good could she go tonight ‘we’ll see I replied’ and off to school she went. When she got home and told me she’d been good at school I told her to put her rainbows clothes on and she could go. Instead of the expected leaps of joy, what I got was ‘do I have to go?’ I asked her why she didn’t want to go and all I got was tears and ‘I like going, I just don’t want to go any more’.
So after lots of fake tears, millions of ‘I don’t knows’, a few feeble reasons and 30 minutes of trying to get to the bottom of why……..she ended up going and enjoying herself.
Good Mommy for not believing her?!
Why does everything have to be so dam complicated. My life is a constant guessing game. When will I get to know the real them. When will they trust me enough to be themselves. When will they feel safe enough with the truth. When will they let me in.