The Guessing Game.

Published February 6, 2012 by thefamilyof5

So I had a call from school today, baby girl refusing to eat and saying she felt sick. My initial thoughts ‘she’s tired, she coughed all night, this is just one of her food control games’. I collected a smirky baby girl who was stood with a very over sympathetic teaching assistant cooing over her like she was on her death bed. My baby girl, aside from seeming to be enjoying the attention and playing her part by looking sorrowful, she appeared perfectly fine. So I brought her home and put her to bed for an hour. She slept. When I got her up I had to admit she looked a little worse for wear, was it just bed head and tiredness?! Who can tell, she fakes that many ‘hurts’ its difficult to know if/when it real.
Her quietness, persistent cough and flush cheeks as the evening drew in indicated it was genuine.

Bad Mommy for not believing her?!

My big girl hasn’t been to Rainbows for 2 weeks now due to her behaviour. She asked me this morning if she was good could she go tonight ‘we’ll see I replied’ and off to school she went. When she got home and told me she’d been good at school I told her to put her rainbows clothes on and she could go. Instead of the expected leaps of joy, what I got was ‘do I have to go?’ I asked her why she didn’t want to go and all I got was tears and ‘I like going, I just don’t want to go any more’.
So after lots of fake tears, millions of ‘I don’t knows’, a few feeble reasons and 30 minutes of trying to get to the bottom of why……..she ended up going and enjoying herself.

Good Mommy for not believing her?!

Why does everything have to be so dam complicated. My life is a constant guessing game. When will I get to know the real them. When will they trust me enough to be themselves. When will they feel safe enough with the truth. When will they let me in.


6 comments on “The Guessing Game.

  • so many questions, when will they let you in ?, will you ever work them out ? maybe stop trying so hard ? whats the answer ? who knows ? all i know is you guys work so hard to understand and you know what, it maybe that you may never fully understand !! xxx and its not your fault, or theirs x

  • Hi there, just stumbled upon your blog. I can identify with this post so much – my son Mini who is 5 has so many fake ‘hurts’, but never tells me when he’s really ill, at least, I don’t think he does. He’s forever wanting a plaster for some invisible cut, and it’s amazing the number of headaches that suddenly come on when he sees me giving his sister calpol for her teething!
    Great blog, I look forward to more posts…

    • It makes it so difficult to be sympathetic when you don’t know if its real or for attention doesn’t it.
      My little girl had the day off school yesterday as she was shattered from coughing in the night. I put her in bed for a nap mid day for a couple of hours, she didn’t sleep, but she did stay in bed so was resting, she didn’t cough once. I brought her downstairs and she sat coughing constantly, I shouted through to the lounge, where her and daddy were sat, ‘daddy if she keeps coughing she may need to go back to bed for a bit’. She didn’t cough for over 3 hours! Now you tell me, is her cough real?! I really don’t know :/

  • Parenting is a constant guessing game. One reason I despise all of the parenting ‘how-to” books is because their main premise is consistency but what they don’t seem to understand is that our kids are not consistant! Can’t help you but i can sympathise.

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