Well the last week or so has been a reminder.
My girls (especially my big girl) are traumatised.
I always feel a little surprised with a bit of disbelief when people talk to me about my girls and imply they’re fine now that they have us, arent they!? If the neglect and trauma wasnt enough to damage their little hearts and teach them that chaos and danger are what you get in life and trust and love is something they’re not worthy of, then maybe being dragged away from everything they ever cared about, family, friends, teachers, familiar faces, places they knew, toys, clothes and even smells that were familiar would be enough for people to understand why my girls have issues. It seems not, they’re expected to ‘be fine’ because now they have a new mummy and daddy and a new home and they’re safe and loved so none of that matters any more does it, it’s all in the past, they’ve forgotten everything and are just like any other child that’s in a loving family arent they. Yeah right!
Sometimes I forget why my girls do some of the things they do, I forget that poor behaviour is a cry for help, crys for me to prove that I’ll love them no matter what and that they can trust me, even when I can’t trust them! When im hurting inside its hard to remember that they’re hurting more. Sometimes I need reminding.
Being an adoptive mom pushes you to the outer limits and then beyond. Being an adoptive mom is really hard!