School staff rarely get training that covers attachment/trauma/loss so I don’t know why i expect anything more than what we get. I guess i just feel some of it is just plain common sense. If a child with a troubled past acts in an out of character way, im sure I’d think to myself ‘something must be wrong’ or maybe that’s just me!?
My big girl had a ’emotional break down’ at school yesterday lunch time. Being 7 it didn’t occur to her to approach a teacher and say ‘I feel kinda sad and angry and I’d like to know how to handle it please’, instead, what she did was randomly shout at staff and students and reject them. Several of the lunch time staff approached her and she shouted and ran away from them. One of them managed to steer her in the direction of her class teacher who was on the playground at the time. Seems my big girl told her teacher she didn’t want to talk about it on the playground in front of everyone but wanted to talk to her in the class room. The afternoon passed and just before hometime the teacher finally decided to ask her what was the matter. By this time she’d calmed down, probably forgotten all those mixed up feelings and just wanted to go home, so she told her teacher some of the children had upset her. My big girl came home. If you read yesterdays blog entry then you know how the evening went.
I collected my big girl from school again today and saw another sad face. I spoke with her teacher. It seems she thought it was acceptable to tell my daughter first thing this morning that what had happened yesterday was all forgotten and today was a new day, however, that she would have to make an apology to one of the dinner ladies for being rude to her. So I can imagine my daughter has waited anxiously all morning for the time she would have to make her apology, so much for a new day eh, any way it seems the dinner lady came in to the class room just before lunch time and my daughter was prompted to apologise to her, with the rest of the class present! So not only was my daughter left all day yesterday to try to make sense of her feelings but she was then humiliated the following day for her actions and the only reason I know any of this is because my daughter told me, her teacher didn’t think it was important enough for me to be told, even though I have repeatedly told them I need to know of anything that she does that is out of character for her no matter how small a matter it may be.
To say im angry would be an understatement, to say I feel that the school have let my daughter down at a time she felt most vulnerable, would be kind. I have an appointment to meet with the head teacher tomorrow. He’s new. I’ve no doubt he’s been reading up on my daughters file and talking to her teachers in order to pretend he knows who he’s talking about tomorrow, even though he had no clue on the phone today. He’s in for a shock, its clear to me that no one has taken the time to really get to know my daughter or understand her needs, if they did they would have seen a little girl who is grieving and was crying out for their help.
I shall also be asking him what plans they have in place to support my daughter in the coming weeks/months when her only friend leaves to go to a special school, or perhaps they plan to just leave her to cope with that by herself also, after all, she’s an expert at dealing with loss now isn’t she.