Silence isnt always golden!

Published July 18, 2011 by thefamilyof5

My morning started with a very sorrowful looking middle girl, who mopped around trying to catch my eye in the hope I’d ask her what was the matter. When I eventually did (I’d put it off as I suspected what would happen) I was greeted with silence and just a look of pity. Most social workers and other professionals would advice me that because of her background she’s freezing as she’s worried about what will happen next. I think differently. You see my middle girl lived with a controlling foster carer for her early years and she learnt quickly that remaining silent would get her attention, for her foster carer couldnt cope with not being able to control her. Her foster carer would handle her refusal to speak by smothering her with attention, tell her how worried she was that she wasn’t speaking, plead, beg, even bribe her in to talking. This became a habit, my middle girl relished the attention and used it to her advantage. I however, am not a soft touch, and if my middle girl chooses not to speak then so be it she will deal with the natural consequences of her silence, and today that meant a boring day of sitting on the sofa with nothing more than books for entertainment as her silence and refusal to eat her breakfast meant I had to assume she was unwell. She rarely gives us the silent treatment these days so my methods appear to have worked. Its quite funny really, we actually commented yesterday that her new found confidence at learning seems to have given her the confidence to test the boundaries, she’s been in more trouble this week than she has in the last month! In reality, she probably just woke in a bad mood and thought she’d try it on! Nice try little one 🙂

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